3 AM

I’ve been having thoughts of committing suicide for years. I know i’m not okay, i know i’m depressed, but i gotta stay strong for my baby. If i let myself sink in into this depression episode i might not gonna make the way out. Who’s gonna take care of my baby? But then i realize the more i repress my feelings the worse it will get. I’m a living bomb that’s ticking and about to explode. If you are wondering where’s my man; he’s here. All the time. He always try to give his best for me. He’s a great spouse and an amazing father to my daughter. But despite his best efforts; it’s just not enough... and i dont even know anymore what i need. So i finally texted my mom, at 3 am. I told her that i cant bear it any longer. I need to go home. I can’t stop thinking about jumping off from my balcony. I need to get out from this place — alone. I don’t want to bring my baby. I need to be taken care of as well. Update. Idk why people still can get to this thread so i think i have to make an update. In case you all are wondering hehe. Today is August 2, 2020, and this thread was made 10 months ago. My baby is 17 months old now. We are doing good whereas my mental health, not so much. I am still being suicidal but i managed to keep it in bay. Anxious? Everyday. I haven’t seen any psychologist yet. My day to day routines are basically a working mama from 8 am to 6 pm and a full time mama to a fully energized toddler for the rest of the day, and i think that’s what makes me forget about my mental issue. Anyhow, thank you for stopping by and make some time to leave a warm and kind comment. I appreciate it a lot! :)

6 Tanggapan
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Tulis tanggapan
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😢😢 please find help from professional. And I hope you're okay now, don't bear it alone. Sometimes you can parted away from your baby if you like it. Its okay for taking care of yourself first. Mom happy baby happy right? Like what people says.

2y ago

Thank you :)

Be grateful for what you have now. Many people don't have anything. And don't ever think about suicide. Face your problem not with suicide, it's not the way out

3y ago

If i can think positive i wouldn’t be depressed darling and please save your assumption about my depression to yourself.

hey mom. i think u need a profesional to talk with about ur feeling. why u committ to suicide, it's must be any reason u can't control by ur self.

2y ago

I know. Thank you :)

maybe you are having baby blues. consulting a psychologist is the best way. most people also feel the same when they just become a mother .

2y ago

How if you try to do therapy by online. Sometimes i also do it ....try to use ALODOKTER app as i do...may be it can help you.

Hi there, how are you doing? Hopefully you have coped with your depression and found your happiness again.♥️

2y ago

Your story is almost similar with mine. I got ppd a couple years ago. The more my child grows is the more I can cope with my depression. You're not alone. I may not understand exactly what you feel, but you're not alone.

Lho😲 kabeh'e koq bahasa ingris mak pie aku wocone

2y ago

Nek ora ngerti ya rapopo, mbak. Intine aku ki depresi wolak walik mikir arep ngentekne urip. Tapi ra sido. 😂