Mums shoulder the heavy lifting in parenthood?

I used to think that both men & women should be equal partners in the parenthood journey. Aside from not being able to give birth and breastfeed there should be nothing men can’t do as well right? Wrong! From conversations with friends and now my personal experience, I realized that men have it easier being a parent. While women go through the body changes & pain of getting pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding & trying to get back in shape & navigating challenges of being a new parent, men still want to have their own “me” time after becoming a parent and usually does only the playtimes with LO while washing their hands off other duties I.e: nappy changes, dunno what goes on in a diaper bag, dunno what LO needs at different stages, leave it to the wives to manage the maid etc. The only difference is the mothers tend to “suck it up” and find out how to navigate being a new parent while men just conveniently take it for granted that their wives will take care of such issues. In this day & age where both parents are working why do mothers get to do the lion share of parenthood? Is it me or do you feel the same as well?

Anonymous

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Hubby recently asked me to pass newborn shopping list (painfully collated my my friend for me as I was a new mother and feeling lost) to him so he can pass to his friend, even recommending our confinement nanny and asking if we can pass any of the items we no longer want to his friend who is having a baby. I couldn’t take it anymore and told him off, while I’m totally fine that he’s feeling concern for his friend I resent the fact that he’s more concerned about them then his own daughter. I told him why are you so concerned about your friend and not your own LO? Instead of asking your other friends who have kids for advice for your daughter (our lo is 6mths old) to find out what she needs at each stage you can’t even be bothered and all you do is forward me links to ask if we need anything. He said that’s becoz I’m doing a better job. I told him I’m a new parent too the only difference is I can be bothered to find out from friends, forums, internet and you don’t! You should be more proactive - parenthood is meant to be partnership and right now it feels like I’m a sole proprietor! - Frustrated new mum

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