is it okay for hubby to flirt with others?

Hubby and me are currently going through marriage counselling session. Why we went through these is because I found flirting messages that he sent with a woman and when I confronted him, he says that's all because I did not give him regular sex life and he is just venting out. No actions done. I agree, after pregnancy of my #1 and now with #2, I always felt tired and rejected him when he initiates. Or rather I originally have low sexual drive. Is that a reason of betrayal? He also says I have invaded his privacy which that's something that he cannot tolerate. I thought counselling can helps to make him understand he is wrong in that aspect for the messages and the most ridiculous thing is he told the woman he still not convinced our 2 year old son belongs to him. I wanted to do DNA to prove my innocence and give justice to my Son but he wanted to ask me pay first cos he does not have enough $. I often think why am I deserving such a treatment just because I did not attend to his sexual needs? Now my question is why will he think his is totally not at fault? I cannot rationale this and he told the counsellor the reason why he comes for the session is just want to see how the counsellor resolve my low sex drive issue and not to save the marriage for our differences and no trust? If my issue is settled, everything will be back to normal and he simply did not think on how bad I was hurt about the betrayal and injustice about doubting our Son is not his. I kind of helpless too cos I am 6 months pregnant with our Daughter now. If there is any daddy advice addressing my question will be appreciated too. Sorry for the lengthy post.

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I share your situation for a low sex drive. My husband ALWAYS instict to me that men needs is a abt sex but he will remain ignorant abt the kids sch time, sickness, happiness and all other matter. Since i was pregnant the 1st til 3rd, he has never been there thruout the pregnancy except when he in need of sex. I went thru csect & went discharged ALONE, i swear. His idea of a husband is to work earn money and enjoy his needs. All other matter is the responsibilities of a wife. When our child was admitted to hospital, he never stay in or even visited coz his excuse was he has to work. But god is fair, last 2 year, when my son was admitted, he was caught having an affair with a pregnant woman. His reason is bcoz he just need someone to confide in when he is feeling down and that woman after confronted "taught" to fulfill my husband needs as a man. Such a humiliating episode. He goes sharing to almost everyone abt hw i was no longer sexual excited after my 1st child. We didnt go for that long. We did it once a week unless im pregnant coz im really tired having to care myself alone and all those pregnancy blues. Only recently he become physically abusive when i rejected him. He say any men will hit his wife when they didnt have their needs fulfill. If i were to married to another men, he wld too leave me. I was left with bruises and all. But after all the beatings, he wld still forced me for sex.

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5y ago

Oh dear. Please get help and dont put yourself thru this if it gets too much. If not for yourself, at least do it for your children. Take care.