how do i deal with tantrum toddler instead of using hitting her

First and foremost, if your toddler is in the midst of her tantrum, just stay by her side without saying anything. Wait there for her patiently until the storm blows away. She will not take in what you've said when she's throwing a tantrum, scolding her would have made her tantrum worse and by keep quiet, you'll making her curious and showing the way on anger management. When she has calmed down, ask her in a non judgemental way what made her angry. I believe no kid will want to throw tantrums for no reason. It's too mentally and physically draining for them. Walk her through her thoughts in a calm manner and tell her if she continues to scream again next time, you cannot help her. You can only help her when she talks to you properly. Be prepared to repeat this over and over again, but they'll eventually get it. Consistency is key and soon enough, she would have mastered the art of anger management. If she is exposed to quite a bit of electronic devices, you may wish to cut back on that as well. The high stimulation from such devices hones the mind to be less tolerant to delayed gratification and patience, hence the more frequent tantrums.