how do i deal with tantrum toddler instead of using hitting her

This is one of the toughest area to handle especially for toddlers. I realised that aggressive forms of punishment were just reinforcing aggressive behaviour.  Young children have yet to learn how to behave, so it's important not to expect too much from them at this stage. When they misbehave, your child is learning a new skill or testing a boundary to find out what is acceptable and what is not. Try to think of it as an opportunity to teach them how you will like them to behave. This is one of the effective methods that I have tried: Praise good behaviour and started keeping reward charts or removing privileges. It will enable the kids to learn what are the right ways to do things and what is not acceptable. Hope that my 2 cents worth of feedback is useful :)