how do i deal with tantrum toddler instead of using hitting her

It is important to be firm and consistent. Children will learn what works and if you give in to his/her request when he throws a tantrum, the child will learn that throwing a tantrum will get him/her what he/she wants. It will definitely not be easy but you will need to endure through his/her tantrums, then patiently explain to him/her that throwing a fit or screaming will not get him/her anything. The child will need to learn this in order to prevent future tantrum behaviour. Consistency is key. Also, reinforce good behaviour, such as when he/she ask nicely (and if the child does deserves what he/she is asking) for the item. This will help the child learn that there are other methods that are effective in getting him/her what he/she wants. Hope this helps!