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I like to mimic the situation to my nephew. Like for example we we're walking at the mrt then there was a handicapped beggar asking for money. The beggar had no hands. Like it was a stump from the elbow down. So i gave the guy some money. Ok so straight up no diss, but my nephew, who is 8, then commented "eh uncle, how come you give the stranger money but you never upsize my meal?" he didn't mean it in a malicious or like i'm better than thou kinda way. He was generally curious about why I chose to give money to a complete stranger vs my own blood. Of course to preface this, me and his parents have been telling him to save up for a rainy day bla bla bla reward yourself end of the year after exams bla bla bla, cultivate that habit sorta thing. So I told him, "eh Ahmad(not his real name because he is just a child) got other people who don't even get allowance how to save like you. Some people, the allowance come from strangers. You're lucky, your mother and me give you money to eat and enjoy" Then this boy also one kind, he complained about him having to study hard and pass exams with A+ or something, go for cca, eat vegetables, just so he can get extra allowance to buy ice-cream after school. Like wah lao the guy no hands he can't even eat ice-cream. So when we got home i tied his hands up. Like you try and touch your shoulder on your respective arms, so your arm folds, then I tied that part. so like exactly like the beggar. Then i told him okay now i put $50 infront of you on the table. If you can take the $50 note and put it in your pocket I let you keep it, can upsize your meal long long. He tried. He genuinely tried. After he exhausted himself, he could barely kiap the note with his elbows, let along put it in his pocket. I took the $50 and just shoved it in his pocket for him. and of course I untied him after that lah. He said it's damn hard to pick up the money, like he was sweating and all. Then BAM, I told him ah. You think that beggar can open a book to read? Can eat ice-cream? Can double dip nuggets in curry sauce and chili(coz my nephew likes to do that)? Even I give him money, he cannot spend, need someone else to help him buy food. You must always help people who cannot help themselves. Then this boy started crying and saying sorry to the beggar,(who wasn't even there. We were at home lol). I think he learnt his lesson. But It's a bit of tough parenting style la. Not every parent wants to do it this way. And confirm chop his parent's wouldn't either. Im his uncle so maybe a bit of leeway hahaha. But I know for sure now he'll think twice about other people and not himself. At least for a while. And that helps me sleep at night. That my nephew is trying to be a better person. If we don't teach the younger generation how to be empathetic, who the hell is gonna look after us when we're old and frail right.
Although the best training for empathy begins in infancy, it’s never too late to start. Infants and toddlers learn the most by how their parents treat them when they are cranky, frightened, or upset. By the time a child is in preschool, you can begin talking about how other people feel. The way you show your own empathy, however, may be more important than anything you say. If your 3-year-old cries out, “Look at the fat lady!” and you publicly bawl out your child and say that he shouldn’t embarrass other people, you’re working against yourself. Instead, quietly and gently explain why saying that may make the woman feel bad. Ask him if he’s ever felt bad because of something a person said. Even so, some 3-year-olds may be too young to comprehend what you are saying. When a child is about 5, he can learn about empathy by talking about hypothetical problems. How would you feel if someone took a toy away from you? How would your friend feel if someone took a toy away from him? By the time a child is 8, he can grapple with more complex moral decisions in which he must realize that someone else’s feelings may be different from his own.
I think role playing and pretend play will help. It will encourage child to imagine how it would be like to be in the shoes of others. You can come up with different scenarios, such as pretending to go to a hawker centre, get your child to role play as a stall vendor while you be an elderly person patronizing the stall. You can take on different personalities and see how your child would react. Switch over your roles to allow your child to consider how to "act" in the new role. Will also be helpful to have a discussion after the session to explain any queries your child may have. Empathy is really something that is difficult to teach. But I believe children have the ability to "learn" how to be empathetic as they are more likely to look at the way through untainted lenses. Some just require some nudging to consider things from the other person's point of view to help develop the sense of empathy.
Kids usually follow their parents cues and examples. If you have shown empathy to others while your child is around, chances are, he or she will pick up the trait. Similarly, if you do not show empathy, there is no one for he or she to model after and it'll be quite difficult for the empathy trait to be emphasized. Be mindful of how you act around your children, if you think and act positive, so will they :)
Pets usually help foster empathy and compassion. But simply talking to them about movies or TV shows that display empathy in kids can do wonders because the media plays a huge part in kids' formative years especially these days. Lastly, make sure you display empathy in your own behavior. Because parents are kids first and biggest role models.
Hatred and violence seem widespread in the world today. Television programmes and news sites report about non-tolerance in different forms on a daily basis.. this is from an article i read on theAsianparent that helped me understand empathy in kids. Here it is: http://sg.theasianparent.com/ways-teach-empathy-in-kids/
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thanks