How can we better manage our emotions as parents when toddler throws tantrum?

Question

It has been really challenging whenever our toddler throws tantrum, does not do what we want her to do, and is fussy with eating. My husband loses his temper very easily whenever such things happen. I, on the other hand, try to stay calm and always wish that he could too, as I have learnt that there are better ways to handle such situations instead of getting angry. The atmosphere also feels very tense because there is a lot of crying from our toddler and shouting from my husband, and I do not like it. It also feels like my husband and I are not on the same page when it comes to our way of parenting. We sometimes question each other when we do certain things, and it feels like the one being questioned is being blamed. I just want more joy and peace in the house, and less shouting and unhappiness. Are there any tips on how to better manage our emotions while facing challenges with our toddler?

Dawn · Answer

constant battle for me too

Anonymous · Answer

First of all, do you two have support? A helper or parents to help out? It’s easy to get burn out when basic needs like sleep or alone time is not met. Remind your husband that children deserve respect too. Crying and throwing tantrum is a form of communication. They are not giving you a hard time, they are also having a hard time themselves. Will this perspective help? Tell your husband if the urge to shout or lose temper comes, go to a room to calm himself down before continuing. He should be the one managing his emotions, he can learn it on YouTube if he needs. And we shouldn’t expect a 2 year old to be able to regulate their emotions. We should be modeling it to them. Also find out why he shouts or lose temper. What triggered him? Was it because he was not allowed to cry when he was young? Hopefully pride does not get in the way when this question is raised. Remember to destress while your child sleeps. x