How to Balance Parenthood with Other Parts of Your Life

Hi Nadeesha, that is such a dilemma to be in and it’s so difficult for us to make a good decision because both considerations are time and money which is an important commodity in our lives. In such scenario, as a therapist I would ask my client to identify with her values because when she makes a values-based decision even though it may seem that she is rejecting an equally important commodity but because its based on her decision it will still serve her because its closer to her values that she holds on. Our values differ between individually, but values-based decision helped us to make a decision that is closer to what means important to us. Hope this helps!

Hi Nadeesha, I think it is very normal to feel excited when we are expecting. This new life that we are creating is going to change our lives and our priorities in life. Therefore, it is normal to feel like you want to prioritize on your child over the job which is usually less exciting especially if the job is not your passion but just a means to life. I would say that not to be harsh on yourselves and perhaps you can work out a schedule where you got to work because you are under an employment and during your rest time you could carve out some time to spend time with the little one in your womb as well.

Hi Vindis, im sorry to hear this about your friend. As a clinical therapist, i would say that she needs to get help for her mental wellbeing first if not it will only get worst and she may not be able to make a wiser decision for herself and her family because of the state that she is in. Once she gets her moods in better order, she can work on how to prioritize her schedule and effectively manage her expectations and her household more realistically. When our mind is overwhelmed, research has informed us that we wont be able to think rationally. Therefore, getting her mood back in order, is really important. I hope this helps!

In my opinion, the good balance will be understanding the needs of the child age appropriately and our realistic expectations about our own capacity. As we all know, the child is a blank sheet of paper and every children is unique in their needs and growth, they are shaped and mould according to what we sow into their lives but as a working parents we do have our limitation as well therefore it is really important for us to also assess what we would like to have for our child and what is achievable for us in our capacity. No one family or children is the same. Hope it helps!

Hi, being young working parents it can be really challenging in today's world to find that balance between work and being a parent. But i would say this is not impossible at all, i would usually encourage young parents to find their values and make intentional decision based on their actions. Eg if one's value is time spent with children, then despite in the working days, choose a few pockets in the day where you can spent time with your child. The time spend doesnt have to be long 2 hours, it can be as short as 30 mins each day with them after your work or before bed time. It can seem impossible and challenging at first, but if we are intentionally thinking and making plans for it, it will never happen that's why we find it hard to find time for it. Im sure we all know the quote that goes, there's a will there's a way. If we dont intentionally plan for it, it will never happened. I hope this helps!

Hi, i think work-life balance is an ideal life that almost everyone is striving towards but its realistically quite difficult especially in Asian working context. In my opinion, there is never enough time with our little one because they are growing rapidly every day. But the question is how we can manage the work life balance, and that is to be intentional to prioritize what is important to us. In counselling, we always encourage our clients to identify with their values and make small intentional actions towards their values so that despite the hustling life Asian lifestyle, we are still having that balance because we are making decision based on our values. Hope this helps!

Hi Nadeesha, that's a good question. I would say that children has very short attention spend. Actually is never about the length of time spend but how quality is the time spent with the child. As a family therapist, i strongly encourage 1-1 dedicated time with individual child. I usually called it a mommy and (your child's name) time, where child gets to pick what would they like to do in that time with you. So, its very intentional and purposeful during that time. I would encourage parents to remove their phones during that time and just quality time spent with the child. It doesnt have to be long, it can be just a 20-30 mins time together and this quality time with child can do wonders. Child feels connected and their love tank is filled up because its a special time they get with their parents. I hope this helps!

Hi, in my opinion, yes it is and i would emphasize it because we are the main caregiver to our child. If we dont have our me-time, or feel that self-care/love we wont have an overflow for our family or our child. Me-time doesnt have to be so tedious that will take half a day or whole day away from your child. Me-time is about the quality time you have with yourselves and work within what is possible in the situation you are in for example it can be as simple as a comfort meal for myself or a short 1 hour away from my child to feel recharged and normal again. Hope this helps!