Ask the Expert Series: How to Overcome Relationship Problems After Having a Baby

Finding time for your relationship can be hard, especially when your time and energy is focused on your newborn. Adjusting to this change is tough, and your partner may be feeling what you are feeling. Here are some ways you can reconnect with your partner: 1. Spending quality time - Whether you go out for date nights, have meaningful conversations at the dinner table or go to the park as a family, these moments strengthen your connection. 2. Always see the funny side - Find humour in your daily tasks, as this helps you keep your relationship strong and helps with tough moments. 3. Maintain your physical connection - Kissing, hugging and having sex helps strengthen your connection and build intimacy.

Of course! These are some tips for reigniting the spark in your relationship 1. Find humour in everything - This will not only help strengthen your relationship but will also help you get through those tough moments. 2. Keep physical intimacy going - Even if you can’t have sex now, you can still hug and kiss! This may not come naturally to mums, especially after giving birth, but allowing yourself to rest in your spouse’s embrace can do wonders. 3. Quality time - It is important to have meaningful conversations and time together, even if it's for 5 minutes! Check-in and see how their doing and share how you are feeling too.

Hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, fatigue, and adjustment stress are all part of the package for women to feel emotionally disconnected. However, if this emotional disconnection prolongs and also extends to baby and the people around, please seek support from your community and professional help as you may be struggling with postpartum blues/depression/anxiety. There is no shame in that, as it was found that up to 70% of new mothers in America experienced postpartum blues, and 1 in 7 mothers experienced postpartum depression.

Yes, there is. A parent who is struggling with postpartum depression (peripartum depression) can feel emotionally disconnected from the people around them. This sense of loneliness can lead them to feel unsupported and alone, which can affect their relationships. It is often hard to articulate what they are going through, and they try hard to trudge on with life. So, I think it is important for both spouses and immediate families to read up and educate themselves on postpartum mental health/mental illness, and to know that there is no shame in this and that there are a variety of resources and support available in Singapore.

Yes, it does! Having a protected space and spending quality time together definitely provides more opportunities for meaningful conversations and bonding activities. However, it is also important to remember to communicate respectfully and honestly about any issues that you may be discussing.

Not necessarily. Rather than focusing on how much you communicate, it is more important to focus on having meaningful conversations. Here's how you can have meaningful conversations: 1. Be honest, yet respectful about your vulnerabilities 2. Incorporate fun and lighthearted topics. Humour can go a long way! 3. Have conversations that build each other up, including encouraging comments, and praising your spouse on their caregiving achievements. 4. During times of conflict, be mindful of using words such as "always" or "never". This is one of the thinking traps we often fall into, also known as "all-or-nothing thinking". It can be really hurtful as negative absolute statements brings out feelings of helplessness (discounting their efforts)

After having a baby, your focus will shift to caring for your baby, which can affect how you view your husband. It is also very common for partners to face more conflicts. In my personal experience, I became more irritable with my husband after giving birth. I realised that this was because I deeply care about my baby, that I only felt safe in trusting MY way of caring for him and led me to forget that my husband also wants the same thing. So, whenever differences in caregiving methods arise, even for simple things like the brand of wet wipes used, I felt unsupported and thought that he was testing my patience. One thing that I’ve learnt is that you may disagree with your husband’s way of raising your child, but remember that you are on the same team and that you both want the best for your child. So, the next time your husband suggests something different than what you would usually do, go easy on him and yourself, and try his way of doing things. You never know, he might surprise

Here are a few ways of strengthening your relationship: 1. Acknowledge change - It's okay to take time to grieve and to adjust to this change, but don't forget to celebrate you and your partners wins! 2. Find humour in everything - This will not only help strengthen your relationship but will also help you get through those tough moments. 3. Keep your physical intimacy alive - Even if you can’t have sex now, you can still hug and kiss! This may not come naturally to new mums, but allowing yourself to rest in your spouse’s embrace can do wonders. 4. Quality time - It is important to have meaningful conversations and time together, even if it's for 5 minutes! Check-in and see how their doing and share how you are feeling too.