Can a baby really help me connect again with my husband? I feel we need something in common to focus on.

I would advise STRONGLY AGAINST using a baby to better your relationship with your husband. With a baby comes along tons of financially responsibilities, endless sleepless nights and frustrations with trying to figure out the baby's needs. It could break a couple definitely if both husband and wife are on the rocks. I am one such good example - I filed for divorce 3 weeks after I gave birth because my ex husband chose to have an affair rather than helping me out with our child. I was left alone most of the time, and it got to a point of no return. I would suggest strongly for you to sit down with your husband and thrash things out before thinking about having a child. A child is not a solution to your marriage troubles.