TLDR: having issues with own parents over money and attitude. Need to rant.
1. I am the youngest in the fam. Salary climb was higher than my sibling. I went on to support my parents more. Giving them allowance, share of bonus, paying their insurance, housing loan, cpf top up, long term medicination and the list goes on. My elder sibling, had a decent job, pays slightly but due to spending habit, always get off the hook on family responsibilities. Parents never ask him for allowance. I didnt get calculative with my sibling. Moreover sibling was saving to get marry, buy house and raising kid. Simply, if i can afford more. I do it.
2. Times changed, im preg w twins. The upcoming costs worry me. Weekly ADC scans, supplements, future care (confinement / helper), commitments at home (hdb loans and all). Thankfully... my sibling got a huge promotion and willing to share the fam allowance
3. Parents now got allowance from him. And their reaction was.... "where's your share?". How great. When i have been giving every month since age of 20 and now 35, this qn wasnt raise to my sibling at all.
4. Yup. All i got was a word of "ok" as replies these days. Maybe because im not the payer anymore. When i defended myself to my parents on the allowance, they argued that they treated me as good, bought food for me without claiming back etc. Honestly small amount. But they can buy takeaways for my sibling family daily as they went to help care for the kid (even though sibling didnt give a single cent). I felt is only right sibling now take over the allowance now having more financial freedom and since parents spending is on them.
5. I felt used and just reaped off. Years of giving them allowance and covering their expenses to get such treatment.
6. My parents, has never visited me not mentioned about visiting me at my place during my pregnancy. (yup is far, but if they want to, i can pay for grab). The agony? My in-laws staying near them, can make a trip down just to pass me food and tonic without fussing over travel journey. I asked my parents, the ans.. "you are bearing their grandchildren ma...." how great again.
7. I dont want to have bad feelings towards my parents. Maybe hormone changes or emotions overrule. Im really affected. Im angry at myself for allowing to be used and yet couldnt bring myself to be harsh to say much.
8. I blew up. I went to visit my parents ytd and was also trying to find something left at their place. My mum came in, and kept saying she must have threw away, must be gone and started using those irritated/inpatient tone (with a raise in her voice). Right from start, i didnt ask for her help. She kept going on and on using the same tone "i told u, is gone. I threw away, u dont believe etc". (She said the item she threw was black but mine was brown, yes similar item diff color). So i raised my voice back at her, saying i dont need her help, i want to be crazy and want to search even though she threw it, i dont appreciate her tone. I feel guilty for raising my voice and saying such things thereafter. Yet i also feel im now worthless in their eyes.
9. Yup i didnt find it. She added on "i told you so". How great. Fine. Tolerate and moved on. So as we talk casually thereafter, i noticed her molar tooth was hanging down. So it was falling but she ignored it! She is blood thinner and told me she dare not extract cause in case bleed non stop.
10. I dislike it when she can neglect her own health and conditions. The way the tooth was hanging... it might have chipped into 2. One half stuck in gum, and the other half hanging. And how has she been eating?!?! Told her to go doc, she would "orh". Delaying and delaying cause need take care of nephew, scare of dentist. Speechless. I was thinking if it chipped, u have a bigger problem (esp on blood thinners) and till then, who is the one being affected... me. Cause i am the go-to person to settle ur hosp bill, visit u to make sure u are not scare at the hosp (yes i went down daily when she was diagnosed w heart condition and first time staying in hosp; sibling working late nights).
Im really caught in between my emotions. I feel i have been too good and now for everything i do less of, im viewed as worthless. I wanted to be angry, to hurl back at them, but yet i couldnt bring myself to. I feel guilty just as i raised my voice.
Thanks for reading. If u have only criticism, please keep it to urself. I have enough negativity alrdy. Thank u