Stay because of the kids or not

Would you stay in a relationship where you don't feel love for your partner anymore? Stay because of the kids?

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Relationship or marriage is not only about love. Feelings change so we discussed this we choose to have friendships, respect, and commitment to our family. I’m thankful that we didn't yet come to this point where we didn't love each other. I’m my husband’s best friend at least according to him. He likes spending time with me. He’s the one who always asks for a date and quality time besides as a family. So at least once a month we go on a date we like discovering new foods, spas, biking, hiking and watching movies. Although, I do not favour staying in the relationship solely because of the kids.

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I would stay. Bcoz love is unconditional. And though there can be setbacks, it can bloom again when conditions change. For kids I would continue... But more so for my husband. Because I know he has the potential to love me back again. This is not desperation that im talking about.. It's the trust I have in my husband caring and loving heart. Plus I'm confident that a woman is complete in every way. So she doesn't have to feel loved or unloved to guage her relationship quotient. If she managed to get him to love her once, she can to do so again.

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2y ago

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For someone who believes in the sanctity of marriage, I would do my best to resolve the issue first. Besides the reason why you married your partner was probably because you loved him, right? Somewhere along the way, you experienced challenges that tested your marriage. And sometimes, these challenges can become unbearable that we decide to go the easy way out. Maybe I would try to go back and ask myself first, what happened? Why did the love fade? And maybe, there's still something both parties can do to rekindle that love.

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Yes, I think many of us do, rather most of do that. It is more like people have arranged marriages and they do it without knowing the other person well, and sometimes not even started to love that person. And eventually they fall in love. So, sticking to a loveless marriage is the same I guess. Plus it does happen that for the sake of kids one has to do deal with the loveless situation because you do not want to deprive kids of the love of both the parents and a scenario that they seem to see complete in nature.

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I think my parents don't love each other anymore. Since young they have been quarrelling. When I'm a little older my dad told me he wanted to divorce but because of me n my sibling n of cuz not gonna give free money (alimony) to my mom. And on another occasion my mom always complaint to me how much she regretted marrying my dad. So I grew up strong, if such thing happened to me I will not hesitate but to divorce be it have Children or don't. In a loveless relationship, children are the one suffering.

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8y ago

I don't see how you have suffered? In fact your parents sacrifice for you & your siblings. That is what parents do, because when one is married is not about oneself but the family as a nucleus> Sorry I think you learnt the wrong lesson from your parents. I doubt is something they want you to take from him. With the above said, I think you should communicate with your partner on this because he/she might not want to marry someone that take the easy way out.

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I choose to stay too becoz of kids but my hb's view is what's the point of staying when he doesn't love me anymore? He even got a lawyer to draft a separation letter for me, everything works in his favour. It's so unfair to me. No alimony during separation too, I didn't agree & tore up the letter & throw it down the chut. I told him to wait till the kids grow up then say. I'm still hoping that he will change 1 day....

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2y ago

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I truly believe that love is a decision, not a feeling. Feelings are fleeting, they come, they go, they vary in intensity over long (even short!) periods of time so the choice to stay together is in itself, love. I think I'd leave - and we'd make that decision together - if we were both miserable. But just not feeling the love anymore, I think something can still be done about that.

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Even if I lost feelings for my husband, at least I also need to know if he is still has feelings for me. If he totally disregard me like a stranger, it will be very hard to rekindle back the feeling to once it was before... But I will only stay on for the kids if he is a good dad all along, and he doesn't go around verbally or physically abuse me at all.

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