Is it right to evolve a friendship with the opposite sex into a "close" one when married? To the point of chatting with him/her first thing when you wake you up in the morning and the last thing you do at night when you don't even do it with your spouse? I call that cheating. What do you think?

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Hello, I was reading the comments below and there are different opinions. But as said by many, "It should not be like this and should be like this", which actually is an ideal situation. The reality is, relationships never remain in ideal situation forever. There come phases where people face ups and downs, and it is not limited to a husband wife's relationship only. So, if we are dealing with reality then I would say, the situation that you sighted in your question is a LIVE situation. It happens in majority of cases and yes, where people get swayed, the relationships go for a toss, but when you get hold of the situation and realise what is happening, as in what is making you attracted to the other person (is it physical, emotional, friendship, etc) then you can evaluate the situation. Then you know that the bonding that you are looking out of marriage is a mere distraction or a serious thing. And then you can hold yourself back.

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What if both parties would do the same? As they wake up, first thing in the morning and before sleeping at night they would prefer greeting someone else on the phone first instead his wife or his husband? That only means someone is too invested about your friendship with someone else rather than refueling the fire with your better half. My father once had a friend from childhood. And my father used to text her constantly. Little did we know a friendship evolved into something deeper than friendship. Because he's too invested texting someone else than talking to his wife. I knew this but l kept quiet about it. As for me, boredom in marriage is never an excuse to cheat a partner. Or texting someone else with sweet nothings and with a smile.

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Hmm. .....well! See it happens in almost every relationship when there comes monotony in married life. And if there is no self moral policing from others and from oneself everyone would once in their married life would do this if it is called cheating or whatever. I think it is just a temporary attraction towards someone else because you are bored in your marriage. It is just fine but make sure that you set your boundaries because if you will not then you will feel guilty when you will come out of this temporal phase. So, I guess do not feel guilty and enjoy it but you must set your limits and do not go beyond that.

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5y ago

I agree with setting boundaries if it's inevitable to converse with the opposite sex especially if for work but let us keep it that way. It just pissed me off that the reason for the "closeness" is because the spouse became too busy with work, taking care of children and the whole household and the "closeness" became an effect. How dumb is that? The fault fell on the spouse. It's difficult to manage the physical stress of taking care of everything, it's aggravating to deal with this emotional st

The fact that you posted it here means that you're concern already of the situation coz you know and you feel that there is a very high chance that one day it might end up into a situation that you might regret but is willing to take the risk because right now admit it or not.. you are thrilled of what might be or could be.. if.. well, stop it! Simply go to your partner and help spice up your relationship. 😉💋

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Nope, don’t think it’s right at all! Close female friends he had before marriage is fine, I’m even ok with them going out 1-on-1 to eat or drink. After marriage, there’s no reason why he should get close to another lady. Not to mention to such “closeness” somemore. I probably wouldn’t call it cheating, but I would make sure my Husband knows I’m really uncomfortable about this n ask him to stop.

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Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I would not like it if my husband message a female first thing in the morning and last at night. As for me I have lots of male friends but the one I married is my best friend and I don't do that even when some of them I have been best friends for years...

Don’t agree with this. It’s emotionally cheating in my view, even though you think you might not have feelings. You will anticipate the person’s messages and the fact that you do it first thing when you wake up and last thing before sleep is not normal at all between even very “close” friends.. imo

I understand why there is a close one, it happens when couple does not have sparks and tend to find it somewhere else. It definately is something that fits right into your needs. But i guess, it is still best to get it from your partner, recreate sparks and do things both you n him enjoy together

A marriage is and should be the best and closest of friendships. No other friendships should ever come close to or supersede that. Your life-long partner, your bestest best friend, that really is what marriage is all about. Hence, imo, it is wrong to have enacted the above scenario.

5y ago

Exactly.

It's okay to have a friend of the opposite sex, but it would be awkward if you'd be texting each other first thing in the morning and before going to bed. It should be your spouse that you should be talking to and thinking of when you wake up and before going to sleep, right?