Need some point of view and no judgement please... i am a mother of 1 and since my kid was born we have more or less decided to have just one kid as I was quite overwhelmed and do not have any room for other kids. We definitely know the advantages of having another child but I feel right now that's all I could handle... The fear of having another child was so bad that when I dreamt of it and woke up like a nightmare. And it really happened, found out I was pregnant recently and I am half decided to get it terminated. I know it's definitely bad and selfish for me to think this way but I had my worries. My kid has special needs and this journey caused lifetime worry to us and it's very REAL. I am very worried if #2 have the same issues as it can be genetic. We are also in our comfort zone of having to concentrate of loving one child, and afraid of getting stretched to give each attention, while I will be juggling with 2 kids without help. Marriage might suffer due to too much time invested in kids. Their age gap will be big, i dont find much a strong need to find them as playmates. I'm now a bit confused and not confident if i can really give birth in this kind of mentality. My hubby isn't too pleased but encourage to give birth for responsibility, don't want to get karma for abortion and believe this pregnancy came for a reason for us. I dont even know if these reasons are even good enough to carry on to give birth, since he hardly helps out with #1. The cons seems to be greater than the pros...

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Thanks mummies for your helpful advices. Really appreciated it a lot! Yes we do know cases like the first one is SN while the second one isn't... and the other hand there are siblings who have SNs it's really draining. Yes the risk of having SN is really higher as the second one comes by so I had very little faith in becoming their only pillar of support because what I experienced with #1 really brings a lot of anxiety and worries. My hubby typically works late and wasn't hands on with hsework and my current kid. I dont really expect him to help a lot this time cos he is having a hard time at work. And we used to have some disagreement on spending too much on therapy/early intervention and stopped. Which is why I quit to become SAHM so that I could spend more time with them. We used to have some ad hoc help from MIL but she is mentally unwell now and heard that she complains about me, so it's also better not to ask her for help if possible. Of course, we will keep on thinking about what if we regret on termination... and what if #2 is also SN... even if it's neurotypical, also hoped that #2 be more understanding to #1 and don't feel burdened... right now our mind are still under consideration. Afterall is own labour of love, we do feel sad about it but we feel overwhelmed by current situation... the only person who is firm on keeping the child is actually our child. Despite me telling him I might not have enough time for him when baby comes, he said he is okay. Really dont know if he meant what he said but that moved me.

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