Need some point of view and no judgement please... i am a mother of 1 and since my kid was born we have more or less decided to have just one kid as I was quite overwhelmed and do not have any room for other kids. We definitely know the advantages of having another child but I feel right now that's all I could handle... The fear of having another child was so bad that when I dreamt of it and woke up like a nightmare.
And it really happened, found out I was pregnant recently and I am half decided to get it terminated. I know it's definitely bad and selfish for me to think this way but I had my worries. My kid has special needs and this journey caused lifetime worry to us and it's very REAL. I am very worried if #2 have the same issues as it can be genetic. We are also in our comfort zone of having to concentrate of loving one child, and afraid of getting stretched to give each attention, while I will be juggling with 2 kids without help. Marriage might suffer due to too much time invested in kids. Their age gap will be big, i dont find much a strong need to find them as playmates.
I'm now a bit confused and not confident if i can really give birth in this kind of mentality. My hubby isn't too pleased but encourage to give birth for responsibility, don't want to get karma for abortion and believe this pregnancy came for a reason for us. I dont even know if these reasons are even good enough to carry on to give birth, since he hardly helps out with #1. The cons seems to be greater than the pros...
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If you abort, will you regret in future? Will u constantly think abt it and wonder? Will the guilt stay with you for life?
If you keep the child, will you regret keeping? When I think abt all these questions, I think all mothers will never regret keeping the child cuz no matter how our children turn out to be, they are so precious to us.
But then again it's easy for us to say, ultimately you have to bear the cross and carry it.
You are so brave to share your story. Ultimately you have decided what is best for your family. Focus on yourself and try to fix the part of you that is still lost. You are in charge of your own security and happiness. So relearn to love yourself. Prayers for you in this difficult time. It will all be better soon. Take care
I'll see what kind of special needs is that. Chromosomal abnormalities or abnormalities diagnosed after birth (like autism).
If it's chromosomal I'll too terminate, if it's the worry that #2 may be autistic or having developmental delays I'll continue the pregnancy.
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Anonymous #2 here, I would terminate if its chromosomal disorder but definitely would keep it if its diagnosed after birth. Why don't wait for the DS test or sth?
I would seek for an abortion quietly. I am selfish. I would not want to neglect #2 and burden #2 with the responsibility of taking care for #1 on future. If hubs were responsible he would help with #1 also.
I share the same feeling as you too although i believe a joint decision whether to terminate will be a better idea. It might hurt my hubby if just did it without his knowledgement.