Any One Out There Can Accept

This does sound like a dilemma for you. There could be a mismatch of needs, hence the affair. Outright accusing your husband of one could make him more defensive. Let him know you're aware of the nuances you've noticed, and that you're worried he may be having an affair. Let him know your needs, and ask him what his needs are too. This conversation would give you what you need to work together on your marriage. Good luck! And big hugs!