Formula feed baby from born

i didnt want to breastfeed or pump from the beginning and i gave my baby formula from birth. the nurse said my nipples was good to breastfeed and i had great flow and milk. i tried to pump at the hospital and i dont feel great. so i told them i dont want to do it for my mental health and they prescribed me the pills to stop my milk from coming. but i get judge from my own family for not breastfeed my baby. so i did a massage for my body after i gave birth and the person asked if i breastfeeding and i said nope. also kena judge and then she go ahead and massage my boobs to stimulate my milk without my consent. i was so upset and i stopped doing massage from her. so my milk came back and its really frustrating. so i forced myself to let my baby latch on me because of people around me pressuring and made me feel like a bad mom. i told you that i feel more shitty after doing so. i cried and cried and no one even cares. so i stopped listening to them and just continue with feeding my baby formula. my baby's doing great! i still get judge here and there but i dont care anymore. my mental health come first! so pls dont ever feel that you're a bad mom for choosing whats best and works for you. because for you to able to take care of your baby, you have to take care of yourself too. if its affecting your mental health, it's not worth it. fed is fed and your baby will turn out great.