Follow baby cues or fix a routine

Hello mummies! First time mummy here and I feel overwhelmed with things I read about managing every stage of baby’s growth online. My baby is 3 months old and I read that his routine should be drink milk > play 30mins > nap. Sometimes he is awake and wants to play after drinking milk, sometimes he is yawning after drinking milk. When I see that he seems tired, I try to pat him to sleep but he would cry quite badly for about 1-3mins before falling asleep. Is this normal? Does it mean he does not want to sleep or he is overtired? Should babies nap without struggle? I’m worried if I’m not picking his cues right or is it because I’m not playing with him enough to tire him out? Should I stick strictly to routine of milk > play > nap or follow baby’s cues? And on some days if I follow his cues and he seems sleepy all day, I feel like I didn’t ‘play’ enough with him and am afraid it will affect his development? I feel so confused and disappointed in myself that after 3 months I still can’t figure out my baby’s cues, understand wake and sleep windows :(

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I’m also a FTM. Today I read a phrase and I’m going to share it with you. Days are hard only to the good parents cause they try and they try so hard. Kudos for researching and trying everything you can :) My friend once told me that baby will usually fuss before sleeping and that saves my sanity. Now I hope it will bring you some peace too. Naturally, it’s eat play sleep. But it shouldn’t be strictly/robotly followed. It’s a rough guide and once it becomes a routine, it gets easier for you. I used to look for cues too but that’s too hard for me. So I pay attention to baby’s wake window, and when its supposed to be nap time, I will try to put baby to sleep but if she doesn’t want to, it’s ok, we will just get up and play :) Then I will feed her some milk before letting her sleep. Both you and baby are new to the roles, don’t be so hard on yourself

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5mo ago

Thank you for the kind words! Being a mom is hard so I hope I’m able to bring some peace to struggling new moms :)

Hm, I use a combination of context and cues to see what baby wants to do. baby is now 3 months old too. I sometimes can't even tell when baby wants milk coz he would fuss at less than 2 hrs, and I'll be wondering why he wouldn't settle when he's tired lol. I tell myself that it's fine, his cues changes rapidly. sometimes he yells like mad for milk, sometimes he only whines and fusses around. I try to read his cues,but if I get it wrong, I try not to let it bother me coz at some pt,I'll meet his need even through just trial and error. Don't wanna stress myself too much, being a mum is stressful as it is.

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For me i go by both mix. Routine and also follow baby’s cue. I try to follow feed - play - nap. But if after feed he’s sleep ill let him sleep. After nap if he’s not hungry and wants to play, ill let him play for a while. As long as by evening, everything needs to wind down and dark and make sure to set a “bedtime” atmosphere. And nope even if you didnt play with him enough also ok cause sometimes they can play on their own, even with his own hands. My bb also 3 months plus. It takes time mummy! And routine might change depends on bb

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i dont adhere to a routine tho i m not good at cues 😬