How to handle my Mil

My mil seems to be jealous baby is close to me and has been trying to distant us. Eg. If baby sees me and cries for me. She carries him away instead and say mei you mei you (don't have in Chinese). Then yesterday she was carrying him, so I went to wash baby clothes etc. She told baby I walked away like i abandon him and add on say i walked away he smiled. It is very hurting. Another time she say baby forget about me. In order to have more time with him, she even asked me to let him very hungry then feed him. Cause I am direct latching him and she feels the feeding too fast. When baby was finally passed to me, his hands were trembling. She even tries to deprive him of sleeping just in to have more time with him. Baby is yawning and she keep say he is opening his mouth. I really feel very miserable... I respect her as my hubby mother but she is getting too much. She is also super sensitive and will probably cries if I say her. Any advice.... #firstbaby #pleasehelp #advicepls

Anonymous

5 Replies

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Set out boundaries and plan schedule for the baby and ur mil to follow. babies love routines. Set feeding time of every 2 hours and a 30mins to an hour playtime if the baby is still below 6 mths. Tell ur mil, babies need to sleep more as they are growing. When babies are hungry, please don't delay as babies tend to get cholic and gastrics. their tummies are small ,thats why its fast full and fast empty. babies will grow up and they will know whose the mother or the grandmother. don't stress over her attitude , set ur own.

If she is so sensitive she will cry or feel upset no matter what you say. That is her own internal problem to solve. you’re not responsible for “babying” your MIL. do what is only right for your baby and you - which is to give her feedback and communicate with her to your best know how. Tell her you appreciate her help (give compliment when it’s due) but also point out there r areas you wish to iron out with her.

Just tell her off before it’s too late. Where’s your hubby when all these happened? Did you speak to him about it? Put yourself & the baby first. If she wants a baby so much, ask her to make one herself.. I find such boomers annoying. So what if she’s sensitive . YOUR mental health is important.

3 more comments

Anonymous

3y ago

Avoid her as much as possible.

Talk to ur hubby and get him to talk to his mum. Don’t make it sounds like a complain session but more of a facts . If he refuse to say his mum / brush it off, I will talk to mil myself. I will tell her the expectations and the facts , time table and boundaries. Stand up for urself and ur baby.

Your mil's attachment to your baby seems to be getting in the way to tend to your baby's need of be fed. Maybe let your mil know that it'll tire her if she sleep with baby. Have your baby with you during night feed. Say that this us doctor's advise

Mum To Be

Got a bun in the oven

3y ago

I normally will bring him out to the living room during the day. But once she gets hold of him, is difficult to bring him in to sleep or feed.

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