Fear

Last year in the 4th of February I had a baby boy but the operation was a nightmare. Woke up in the 5th of February with a terrible headache which turned out to be bacterial meningitis just hours after having my baby. My life was hanging on a cliff. Dr's told me to not have anymore kids coz I'd die. On the 10th of July I found I am pregnant again I was happy becoz my boyfriend doesn't have any kids and he wanted he a baby. Now the FEAR is I am giving birth to my second baby nearly on the same date as my first one and I am terrified on going back to theater what if the same thing happens, what if I die this time? My partner is very supportive but he doesn't know the nightmare and how painful it felt for me to be lying in the ICU bed not knowing who I was, or if I'd ever see my son again. What does one do in my situation because I am 5 months pregnant and I can't help but think of the ordeal I've faced a year ago