Is teen pregnancy really that wrong? Can I not keep my child? Why do people shame young mothers?

Four years ago, I had an abortion because my husband felt that we were not emotionally nor financially ready to take care of another human life as I had gotten pregnant shortly after we got married. I really didn’t want to go through it, but my husband was adamant about it and got angry when I got emotional about it. He said that we had “made a mistake” and so we should “take responsibility” for it. By that he meant abortion. Till today, even though I have given birth to another child since then, I still think of the what-ifs and could-have-beens of that child that I aborted - and the guilt continues to eat me up. My heart aches for this child that I lost, and I wish I had given him/her the opportunity to live. I had no right to take that opportunity away. If I could go back and do it again, I would fight fight fight fight fight so much harder against my husband and insist on carrying the child and not aborting. I would tell my parents so that they can back me up against me husband. If anything, I think “taking responsibility” means carrying the child, and doing what it takes in one’s life to get ready to welcome him/her into the world with people who love him/her. It will be tough, but when you see the face of your child everyday all the hardship will be worth it. So please, don’t go through with the abortion, you will definitely regret the abortion, but you will never regret having the child. I promise you. Take care and stay strong!

At 20, you're no longer a teen but a young adult. People are not shaming young mothers but despise the fact that after being pregnant and unwed, they decided to abort the innocent life mainly because of financial issues. ALWAYS the same reason again & again. Abortion is the easy way out for them rather than working and earning for the baby. Honestly, if I were you, I will leave the bf. Only a responsible & true man will own up and be responsible for what he did. For sure this will happen again. Know that abortion carries it's risk. I have friends who have aborted before being married and are now having trouble conceiving. Plus the guilt, the depression and all. Some even have haunting dreams of their aborted babies. Like it or not & put aside the shame, I will tell the truth to my parents. No parents will leave their troubled kids out if you tell them the truth. They may be angry & disappointed in you but know that deep down as a parent, they will still support you. I rather have my parents support than my irresponsible bf. Think many times before deciding. Also, I don't think this platform is suitable to be asking for advice on abortion. Afterall, we are not professional. Best to seek professional help for professional advices.

i understand your fear of facing your angry parents. you should also consider how eager your bf is to "dispose" of this baby and what it shows you about the kind of person he is. in the end its you who will feel the pain and recovery after the abortion, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. not him. terminating a pregnancy has lifelong lasting impact on the mothers and you should consider this. how you cope with it and the amount of support you will need after the surgery is also important. post-partum depression applies to not just miscarriages, pregnancy loss but abortions too. if you are concerned about raising the child, may i suggest you carry it to full term and giving it up for adoption to those who have been yearning for a child but unable to have one on their own? there are many types of adoption. it can be sealed or open adoption, depending on whether you want to give the child the option to reconnect with you when the child is older.

Hey! I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now. It is not the most pleasant of situation to be in, especially you’re not at the right life stage or financial standing to be able to provide for this baby. I understand the shame and isolation that this pregnancy may bring to you and the types of comments you might end up attracting. However, I hope you give it a bit more thought before deciding on any move. Abortion may solve the current issues at hand but down the road, the guilt you feel could eat you up and you may end up spiralling. It could end up worst than the current shame and isolation that you feel. If you are afraid to speak to your parents first, there are organizations that help woman in such situations to find support for eg. A safe place. I hope it helps.

I didn’t know you but i know what i do. I was 15 and i love my boyfriend more than i love myself. But here am i 5years after everything happened. I regretted it for the rest of my life. I keep on dreaming about my baby saying he missed me. Why? Because i dont have the guts in the first place. But i did it anyway because everyone including the man that i love said IT WAS WRONG to be pregnant. Im not going to say what is right & wrong for you. But here is the thing, u gotta do what u think is right so u didn’t regretted it like i did. After all we all have a choice & every choice have consequences. Because why? After 5years here i am being married to the man I thought I would’ve never married & here am i crying mostly everyday because it’s has been hard to conceive a baby.

It's lovely that you are enjoying your pregnancy and you're looking forward to your baby bump. With this app, you will be able to see the daily growth and progress of your little one, and it is a magical feeling knowing you are growing a life inside you, that's depending solely on you. Do you see how important you are now? :) Many others have given great advice so I will not repeat them. Instead, meanwhile please remember to stay away from cigarettes and alcohol (not making any assumption here ya, just general advice to any pregnant mum). Also, go to any pharmacy and ask for folic acid (the brandless ones are cheaper) and eat them daily. Take good care of yourself, don't get too stressed out cos stress is not good for pregnant mums. Everything will work out well. ♡

I found out I was pregnant at 19; however, not once did I think of having an abortion. I went through the pregnancy and left home before I showed. I braced myself having to face my family’s anger and having to work to support my baby. After months of being away from home, my parents did everything to track me and bring me home. Naturally, they were angry as I am the first disappointed/embarrassment from a family that had nothing but good reputation. However, upon returning home, they made me feel that despite what I’d done, I belong. They supported me from then till now. So my advice to you is to muster the courage to talk to your family first. Let them know the situation that you’re in.

I believe there are sources of help for lower income parents. You can explore them. You can also take a gap year from school during your pregnancy. Your own parents and your boyfriends' parent will likely help out with the finances if you open up to them about this matter. Pls consider getting their help. Of course they'll be upset initially but no parent will kick out their own pregnant daughter. There'll be a part of them deep down that appreciates your courage to speak to them about such a big matter. It's a blessing to be able to get pregnant. I'm in my early 30s, took a couple of tries before finally getting pregnant, and I envy those who got pregnant easily, and at a younger age.

Dont worry about shame or isolation, all these will past. If you want to be a mom, you have to look beyond that, be strong and be decisive. I have afriend who got pregnant at 17, now mother of four. Her only poor decision was kept getting pregnant even after divorce. Another friend shotgun marriage at 20, support from family was minimal but she really worked hard and manage to work until her husband graduate so that they have dual income for better life. Its not a rosy path ahead but Maybe you can talk to both parents to see if you will get support from them and most importantly, is your boyfriend worthy of all these unforeseen circumstances?

Hi babe! Think thoroughly before making any decision. Getting an abortion is not an easy thing. It’s mentally challenging. To me, that’s an unforgivable mistake. I was 17 when I gave girth to my first born. No income, no stable job, no support from boyfriend (now husband) side. I went through the first pregnancy at 17 with just my then boyfriend and parents (thankful for their support). All you have to do is talk to your parents and boyfriend. See what can be done other than abortion. Part time job perhaps? Approach MSF, they’re very helpful. Hope you make the right decision 🙏