Baby at mil place

Hi i m a ftm, ever since i stay with hub at mil place i feel stressed and like always get scolded for things like never do certain properly etc. Now i m preg and also confinement nanny dont have i was told by bil to not give mil take care and i alr plan to tc with my husband, order confinement food etc. Before gg back to work after maternity i dont plan to give mil to take care as she s 70+ and i dont want her to raise my child and her body cant take it for fear bil will scold given that she had past record during confinement she couldnt take care for my sil and she raised white flag. Ended up they found a nanny. Now their kids is big sometimes they leave clothing at the place she handwashes them and get very mad and scold behind their back. So i planned feb mar for friend to tc, and she got so mad. April onwards put in ifc near my home i will fetch and send. My husband had a fear aince boy that it will be the same as bil kid spoilt, naughty and angry. Mil is sensitive and tired most days and during my confinement i wanna do it my way bathe daily in herbs water etc and dont want her to tc cause i want to avoid conflict and ppl talking behind my back or complaining to bil. What should i do? Find a place for one month during confinement, or what should i do. I just dont want mil to tc. My parents are not close to me and due to personal reasons they cant take care. Once baby give birth, how much allowance additional must i give to parents in law? Since i will need wash, feed and clean baby, since they arent not gg to take care and i dont want them to for fear of getting chided by bil, how much to top up for existing allowance? Pls advise. #firstbaby #1stimemom #pleasehelp