how do you manage your own temper along with the temper of your growing child? i don't yell generally but sometimes it gets difficult to handle a growing stubborn child. mine is 10

i have a growing child too and yes, this is one difficult situation. though it doesn't happen a lot, i do lose my temper. but instead of yelling or shouting (which of course makes me feel bad later), i take a break and tell my child that we'll talk about it in a while. i take time to clear my head by going for a quick walk, or reading or listening to music, or even drinking a cup of tea on my balcony - anything to calm me down. she too reads or plays in the meanwhile. when we get back to talking, it usually is more meaningful as the anger disappears :)