ectopic pregnancy loss

How do you cope? It was our first positive after trying for 2 years. But ended up ectopic. I carried it for 9 weeks. Most of the time my husband and I are happy. We have accepted God's will for us. But there are just times that I can't control my tears. I can't believe our first is already an angel in heaven. I don't know how to part with this angel. ??????