How to stop comparing
How do you avoid comparing your kids to each other? As a mum I find myself wanting to say things like "look at your brother, he studies way more than you. Or "see what he got for PSLE, you make sure you match up too." I hate it, but it comes so naturally to me! #comparingkids
My take is that some degree of competition or comparison between siblings is healthy. The main thing I would take note of is not to always put a particular child down. Recognize the strength of each child and play to each one’s advantage at various points. Children, especially siblings, learn from one another and could benefit from such healthy competition. Growing up, I was often compared to my sister. While I didn't like it, I can't argue that she was more studious and my parents' comparisons highlighted a lot of her positive habits that I ended up learning. She became my role model. Also, there were times where my parents highlighted my good points to nag at my sister and that did feel good too. haha.. Also, I would suggest that instead of comparing between two children, you can also compare to yourself or daddy. Children love to model after their parents and it could be a great way to motivate them. Just thought to share some of my personal experiences since I was at the "receiving end" of such comparison. Not sure if it is helpful but just my thoughts. :)
Read moreInstead of saying as comparing, use a reward system to motivate them instead. Like, if you score 10 marks more than last round, give them a improve rewards, make sure it's something they want and don't always have like, maybe pizza hut, only eat during special occasion, and she love it, hence she will be motivate to score better next round. If score 80-90 i will give u a budget of $20. 90-100 budget of 50. To buy toys or anything they want, (of course it's something legal or educational, etc) budget can set according to ur comfort level. What kind of test what budget, more impt test, higher budget. There is many ways to deal with different situation, comparing will hurt them, so Motivate and reward them is better ways.
Read moreI think all kids are different and is talented in their own ways. Maybe your younger ones are not so talented in studying but he may have his own strengths (maybe more artistic, musically inclined etc). Good in studies may not be the more successful one in the future. Just look at things from another angle :)
Read moreAsk yourself if you would have liked being compared with someone else all the time. If you don’t Like it then why expose your kid to it?
