Wifey As A Maid

Question

Hi guys , i wanna share and ask about yours opinions.So the thing is yesterday my husband invite his friends over to play mahjong together with my MIL. We have a 1.5 years old little cute son , my son is curious about the mahjong so keep going and bothered them playing so my husband insult me to take care of this amazing son alone. At the same time my MIL ask me to cook for her while she was playing mahjong. Another thing is that , our housework also need to be done by me at the same day. Im so tired and exhausted cuz u know baby wont just sit down, he will hang around everywhere and i need to done my housework as well . They finished playing mahjong at night 10pm (since morning 11am) . And when i wanna go to bed, there is still a bunch of clothes that need to be put back to the rack, i asked my husband to help me with a tired face , and he ended up scolding me about my tired face , said that i no need put such face. Said “what r u complaining at? U just take care of our child, nothing to be tired about etc.” We quarrel abit and i beg him to not shout as our baby is sleeping next to us but he dont care , he just wanna make a fuss until my MIL come. Then my husband was trying to tell my MIL that i was very tired to do housework etc which is making me cry. Cause it’s quite embarrassing. And what i upset the most is that i cant do anything .. please advice 😔😔😔 #1stimemom #firstbaby #MotherInLaw #husbandandwife #husbandandwifeforlife #wifeproblem

Ysa · Accepted Answer

Hi mummy Shelvia,So sorry to hear about this terrible situation you are in. I cant imagine how painful this must be for you. Or how exhausted you are on navigating parenthood plus also doing a lot of chores without getting help from anybody. So sorry you had to go through this. But I think the best way to handle this is be honest with your spouse that it is hurting your feelings and causing you mental stress as well. Always come from a place of love and do not confront him angry. And always mention that you dont want your baby to grow in that kind of environment where you tolerate shouting and fighting at home. From then on, resolve it together as a couple. Coz you are going through it together, as first time parents. Also acknowledge his feelings if he has problems as well coz this is also new to him, not only to you. Secret recipe is communication. Jiayou Mummy!!

Anonymous · Answer

I feel bad for you, and I dont think you had been treated fairly in this scenario. Is this a one-off thing and is your husband usually caring and helps share the load? Otherwise he sounds like a huge bigot and he does not respect you as an equal.I think mutual respect is most important in a relationship, else one party will tend to be emotionally abused. Even if he is a sole bread winner, being a mother is a full time job as well and harder as you get no respite. As a working professional who can work 9am to 11pm certain days I have full respect for my mother who was a housewife because I dont think I can do her job as well as she does. Less respect for my dad now actually because he used to make bringing in the dough like a huge deal and ribbed my mom a lot for being safe at home, but it was seriously overrated and he needs to get off his high horse.Ummm this is just how I do things but, housework thats not urgent can be put off if you are tired. My priority is the kids safety, my mental well-being, our relationship, then the house which wont die if you dont mop it for 2 months. Honestly both my hubs and me are working, laundry and dishes are the only things we do frequently else we will run out...