Don’t go looking for the man who will buy you flowers and jewelry, or surprise you with fancy vacations. Go looking for the one who buys you the hangers.
The other day, I had mentioned to my husband that I was feeling overwhelmed with all of the laundry, and also ran out of hangers.
“I’m feeling stressed, and I need to go get some hangers this week. I can’t hang anymore clothes.” I said to him quickly.
After that, we both got into the car to head over to a family dinner.
As we drove towards my parent’s house, he stopped at the store, and said he needed to grab something.
I sat in the car, I felt myself getting a little annoyed.
A few moments later, I looked out the window, and saw my husband carrying about 100 hangers.
He popped open the trunk, put them in there, and sat back in the drivers seat.
I just stared at him.
“I didn’t need hangers this instant, but thank you.” I said, as I felt a rush of emotions.
“I know, but I could tell you were getting stressed, and thought I could help. Tonight, we’ll do your laundry together, and get it all hung up.” He said to me as he squeezed my hand.
It was in that moment, I realized I had been searching for his love in all of the wrong places, completely.
My husband has never been one to come home with chocolates or flowers often, and it took me many years to appreciate the way he loves me.
Growing up as a little girl, I would watch movies and see the big gestures.
The surprise vacations.
The diamond necklaces.
I was not taught about the subtle love.
The quiet love.
The “little” love.
The forever kind of love.
The kind of love where he sees you needing help, and does it without asking.
The kind of love where he knows you so well, he can go to the store and pick out all of your favourite snacks.
The kind of love where he knows your tricky coffee order, when sometimes you even forget it.
The kind of love where he got up with the baby at two in the morning, so you could rest.
The kind of love where he has seen you at your absolute worst, and chose to keep loving you anyways.
I was never shown that kind of love in movies, books, and TV.
I was always taught to look for the big gestures.
I was always taught to look for the flowers being brought home.
What I can tell you, is each and everyday he’s done little things, like this, to make my life a tiny bit easier.
Marry the man who doesn’t buy flowers often.
Marry the man who doesn’t come home with extravagant presents everyday.
Marry the man who will let you wait in the mall when it’s raining, and drive the car up to you, so you stay dry.
Marry the man who loves you in a quiet way.
For that is where the deepest, and more pure love can be found.
The quiet love.
The type of love where he just wants to make the things in your life, well, a little bit easier.
Marry the man who buys the hangers.
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