pregnant & dealing with stress

Almost 14 weeks pregnant and my partner is giving me alot of stress by drinking too much and he comes home very late, drunk. Any mothers out there went through something like this? How do I keep myself distracted especially during this time?

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Thank you for all your msgs. My parents have taken me home cause it was getting too much. The drinking didnt stop and me getting stressed out was increasing day by day. He drinks because he is stressed and I understand. Work can be hard and having a baby can be scary for anyone but for his case it is more stress being given by his side of the family... his mum, dad etc. I have tried many times to tell him to tune them out but he cant. We do not live with them but somehow as a woman it feels like his family does not wish to let him go... When I try to confide in his mum about his drinking.. she blames me instead and says I should accept him for who he is and that men are men..🤷🏽‍♀️ His father for some reason has never approved of me. So I dont speak to him. Recently he has been saying sorry to my parents and I but the drinking has not stopped and the blaming and scolding has not as well. I am definitely thinking about raising our baby on my own cause I can't deal with him anymore. It is heartbreaking and so stressful and I just want the baby and I to be ok... Is it wrong that I am thinking of raising our baby on my own?

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5y ago

It's not wrong to want to raise your baby all by yourself. There are consequences too if you raise you baby in that environment. Children learn quick. And baby may jolly well learn from his father and do that to others. If you feel that raising your baby on your own is the right way, I personally support you. But it's not going to be easy. I came from a single-parent family so I witnessed first hand how big a scarifice moms must make. All I can say is, if nothing changes for the better, think for yourself and think for baby.

Perhaps you should try to go to a family service centre and see how they are able to help. During pregnancy, the partner's support is very important because you are going through not only physical changes but emotional changes as well. If there's no support, the chance of getting pre-natal depression is higher. And this can affect your baby negatively. What concerns me more is your partner coming home drunk very frequently and shouting at you. I worked with a family violence specialist centre before and shouting is always the first sign of violence because it's verbal abuse. Plus, you are even more vulnerable when you're pregnant. I'm just worried that your partner might just spiral out of control and go on to the next phase of hitting you (as I have seen from many cases). I hope you are able to seek help. If you are willing, I can give u their contact info.

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Is your partber drinking because he needs to for work related purposes? Otherwise, if you guys are bringing up a baby together, it will be tremendously helpful if he’s committed. I think you might be more stressful later leh when baby comes if that habit of his does not change.

Try going out with your gfs or participate in some classes? Watch movies, dramas, read a book, shopping, dine out with friends, pick up a hobby.. theres alot that you can do actually during ur free time. Just keep urself occupied. :) hugs.

5y ago

I currently do that now. I go to work, I go for classes or I go out with my friends but when he comes home drunk he just gives me more problems.. for example he will start shouting at me or put all his problems on me even when I am asleep or when I am trying to... it really affects me and I feel so sad..

When I'm pregnant my hub don't even bother about me and I commit suscide as we always quarrel. After that I realize no point. I harm myself and baby. I need to be strong for my baby. I find alot of activities to do to distract me.

5y ago

Makes sense. I dont know what to do. I ask his mother for help and she blames me. I just dont have any support from his side. But you are right, I need to find activities to do and try to not bother about how he affects me.

This kind of guy dw also good.. U and baby also will be fine.. Is not shameful to be a single mom but its shameful for a drunk abusive (dc verbally or physically) dad/hubz