2-3 HOURS BROKEN SLEEP
Hi parents. Gusto ko lang mag share, I haven't been the best of my best to be a mom lately. Sleep deprived ako ever since pinanganak ko yung baby ko 2-3 hours of sleep a day lang ang meron ako broken pa. Dalawa lang kami ng mister ko sa apartment namin and graveyard shift pa ang work niya kaya sometimes hindi talaga niya ako natutulungan mag alaga. My baby is now going on his 3rd month and 3 months na din akong ganito. I have this sudden rage if napuputol yung tulog ko, iba yung pagka iritable ko parang iba yung gigil at inis ko, yung tipo ng kaya ko talagang manakit. Hindi ko mapigilan at some point, nasisigawan ko talaga yung baby ko and gabi gabi ako umiiyak dahil sa exhaustion and lack of sleep kaya ang ginagawa ko hindi ako natutulog at all. 🥲At first it is very hard to stay awake all night and all day pero right now hindi na ako nakakatulog at all, gising ako 24 hours. iidlip lang ako ng 30 minutes during the day kapag matutulog siya and I know it is very unhealthy but what can I do? nahihilo na ako minsan and hindi ko masabi na nahihirapan na ako kasi ang isasagot lang sakin "bakit nag anak ka pa kasi" 🥲 My baby is unexpected, the thing is hindi ko kaya ipalaglag tong batang to. I can't even fathom the idea na ilalaglag ko siya. I get it! we have responsibilities pero dapat ba iinvalidate yung nararamdaman natin as a mom or parent who go through a trauma sa katawan. hindi madali yung ginawa natin for the past 9 months and yung pagluwal ng isang another human being. Our body goes a lot of stress and they expect na walang effect yun sa overall na pagkatao natin. Ive been through a lot of mental and physical challenges simula nung pinanganak ko siya and kung idadagdag yun sa traumatic birthing experience ko, mabigat sa pakiramdam. Hindi ako okay. I tried my very best to be the best for my son pero tao lang ako and may weakness ako. Napapagod na ako mommies. 🥲 Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ko pa kaya. After december, baka mid january I will go back to work, work from home ako and I do not know how I will cope and manage kapag nag start na ko magtrabaho ulit. Ayun lang.