My niece scratches, pushes, kicks and pulls her younger sister's hair everytime they fight and would say things an 8yr old shouldn't say. It is all because of what they heard and saw whenever their parents quarrel. I don't want them to grow up like that. Is this just a phase or should I be worried? Should I consult the kids to an expert?

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Kids tend to mimic whatever they see and hear as it is natural for them since they're still in the process of learning. What they see -- they do. For this, I think the best course of action is to talk to their parents. My eldest (born from a different mom) grew up with his dad (my current partner) and his wife (ex) always fighting. When I first met him, he was always craving for attention. He also says words that a (then) 7-year old boy shouldn't be saying. It took me a while but when I finally got close to him, I learned that he was that way because he thought it was okay since he sees his parents talk that way. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that, you can do something about your nieces by talking to them but eventually, they'll just do it again because of their environment. It is really best to get to the root cause first by talking to their parents and educating them about the effects that is happening to their kids.

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I think the elder one knows that pulling younger sister's hair is the best defence. I don't think she would have learnt pulling hair from anyone. These things children pick up themselves. In one of the fights she must have pulled the little girl's hair and must have come to know that it is the thing that irritates the little sister the most, and she does it overtime. Also, when there are two kids at home, everybody tells the elder one to behave, compromise, be good than the younger one. The elder one too is a kid. But when there's a kid at home younger to that we always make the elder one let go of toys or things forgetting that 8 years too is young and needs as much importance and attention as the younger one. But yes, parents fighting in front of the kids definitely leave a bad impression on them. If you have an understanding with the parents, advice them how their quarrels are affecting the psyche of the kids.

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Hi kaye ! I think you should talk to the parents first about that issue. Because they're the one responsible for the wrong doing of there kids. If only if the parents of your niece did'nt listen or did'nt do anything about the issue that's the time you should talk to your niece and explain to her that fighting and hurting is a wrong doing.

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