Mentally and emotionally challenged
I’m about w8 - 9 into the pregnancy and I’m feeling horrible as a person. I feel guilty for being more worried than happy about this pregnancy though it is planned and what I wanted. It feels different from how I imagined I would feel and cope. I am self-employed and WFH most times. My MIL has been coming into the room (most times without knocking the door) asking me for my lunch preference which I usually turn down because I’ll get my lunch when I’m hungry, but my lunch time is too late for her. But yet, I can’t tell her off in a firm way because she gets sensitive and things will turn awkward. I also get told off for drinking fresh milk in the morning (at about 10-ish am) because it’s cold. I feel that she is imposing her way of life into me, which makes me angry because I feel that I am not respected this way. I can’t even tell her that she should knock onto the door before she comes in because “this is her house” as how she would respond. Strangely, she knocks whenever my hubby is home so my hubby can’t point it out to her since she knocks every time he is home. Just today, in front of my sister in law, she insisted that she wants to command my husband to order or cater lunch for me everyday because I turn her offer to buy food for me (I know she’s nice and I should be thankful that she offers to buy lunch for me but it gets stressful because this leads to her interfering what I eat and how much I eat and an endless list). I expressed that I do not require such services from her and my husband but she can’t seem to understand that this is crossing the line and making me very uncomfortable. My hub has try to communicate with her with regards to the eating concern by telling her that we are assured by the Dr that it is ok because my MS is bad and I puke after each meal. And since I really dislike food, Dr gave the green light to skip meals or eat lesser until I feel better. I also find myself frustrated or hurt or angry at things more and I wonder if it’s because of the fact that I’ve to stop my long term psychiatric medication due to the pregnancy. And at the end of each day, when I reflect upon my day, I feel that I seem to be the problem since I am the one being affected and seems like I’m the only common object among all upsetting incidents. Idk where this post is leading to, perhaps I’m just ranting. These days, I just feel the weeks are passing by too slow and I want to close myself up and interact as minimal.