Personally, for me, after going through situations very similar to yours, I have never felt the urge to divorce my hb. Disappointed with him (for being unsupportive of me), yes, but never to the point of wanting to divorce. The reason is simple - I understand his position. He was basically the squeezed middle person - 1 side mum, 1 side wife. And tbh, it was tough for him, too.
It was tough for me cos we stayed at my MIL's (during my confinement up til i end my ML) when I had my 1st born. Then I managed to convinced my hb to move out the moment I start work. I was lucky that although my 1st born was placed at my MIL's while we both work, my MIL wasn't the only caregiver. I had other cousins and relatives taking care of my 1st born, and since my hb works half day AM, by lunchtime, he was already home to jaga our baby til I come home.
My 2nd one situation was more of a headache for me cos that's when my MIL stayed with us in OUR home. She not only tried to overwrite my authority as the mother to MY children, she also tried to overwrite MY authority as the mistress of MY house. Luckily for me, I have proof of her saying mean things about me to others (all captured via cctv). Showed them all to my hb and asked him to have a conversation with his mother for running her mouth by saying mean things about me.
It was at this point when it got so stressful for my hb bcos he was sandwiched. It didn't help that my MIL was chronically ill at that time (yup, chronically ill and still running her mouth saying mean things about me and my parents to her relatives, her children and all). I found out only recently that it was during this (stressful) period that he had planned to divorce me, but he kept on putting it off. God knows why. I was kept in the dark on this matter, of course.
It has been about 3yrs now and tbh, I was and still am heartbroken bcos he actually had wanted to divorce me just bcos I couldn't 'get along' with his mother. He felt that I could've forgiven her and 'let her be' (ignore her as she run her mouth about me and my parents) reason being cos she was chronically ill at that time.
I still stand by my beliefs - to protect my parents and my dignity and told my hb that I have forgiven her but I cannot forget the fact that HE had even considered the divorce route while I'm the one that has been 'bullied' left, right and center by his mother and him (I felt 'bullied' by them bcos I was away from my parents and siblings cos after marriage, I followed my hb and moved westside of SG while I grew up eastside and my family and all stays eastside).
But here we are, without my MIL now (cos she has passed on), working on our marriage and trying our best to make it work together.
I'm not sharing my story to shame anyone, but I feel that you need to know my experience so that you can have a better perspective on the other side of things and make informed decisions.
Ps: My hb said that he decided the divorce route at that time bcos he felt that that was the best for us (him, his mother and me) bcos our rs was so strained at that time. There was never a day that we weren't quarrelling, and it wasn't healthy for us and the kids.
Personally, for me, I felt that his mother was the toxic one in our household cos all our arguments stemmed from her. And it is proven now that she's no longer around. Our marriage is stronger than before. But of course, this is something I cannot point out to him, but I know he can sense the changes in us too.
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