Solo parenting 2 month old

Hey ive been pretty much solo ing for slightly more than six months now. Its a lonely and stressful experience so that's a very important heads up. My husband comes home from work and tries his best to help around, but if ure breastfeeding or pumping its gonna be on u all the way. I gave up pumping early on because yes the pump, feed, clean, repeat made my mental health worse. I spiralled so hard. Im fully breastfeeding now but that comes with a new set of challenges. U will always be attached to baby and its fully ur responsibility even when u tired or sick. May i suggest hands free breast pumps? The kind u slot into ur bra so ur arms are free to hug and carry baby if needed. For toileting, its a struggle. I put baby to sleep then toilet with the door open looking at baby just incase all hell breaks loose. Sometimes yes u have to stop and wash up to attend to baby. So my body is conditioned to poop only when baby sleeps at night, or when husband is around after work. There is no other way for my situation. Husband works occasional Sundays, Saturdays so its pretty much me carrying the family and house. By time hes back its still me cleaning cooking caring etc. If money is not an issue i see other moms suggesting part time helper, full time helper, nannies, parents, in laws to come over and help maybe? We dont have all that so ive been doing over time since delivery. And its tough nuts. I have snapped. I struggled so hard being depressed. Occasionally suicidal thoughts. I have cried until i cant pick myself up from the floor. I have not recovered fully and its obv not okay. I have spaced out because yes these are real difficulties a mother goes through without any help, with fluctuating hormones, without people around u, with ur broken body trying to heal. especially so when ure alone so becareful, check in on urself. talk to ur husband and people around u. Not for their advice honestly but their physical and emotional support. get a trusted person to check in on u every week or so. My cheat sheet these past six months are: bmsg> breastfeeding support group. they seem to have mothers meet up but ive yet to try meeting other moms to make friends yet. or even kkh lactation consultants for tips go out at least twice a week for baby and u walks. fresh air, scenery the likes set up a routine so u can regulate ur emotions and daily stuff, cooking a fav meal every week set aside little perk me ups like ur fav snacks, a little online shopping, ur own quiet time when husband and baby is sleeping just chill ur own time husband and u time at least once a week to check in on each other for whats coming up the next week or month counselling if needed? i chose imh instead of kkh maternal health or even online counselling to keep u in check say good bye to sleep honestly. if bby sleep u sleep. but then it means u dont cook, or eat, or poop, to wash clothes, or shower etc. so if u have the finances cater food, get people to do ur hard work. or u choose one or two priorities per baby nap haha. im sorry i have so much to share how i survived almost 30weeks alone. It was the worse at the first three months because post natal blues is very real. I hope u breeze through urs and things get better🥲