My husband, ever since I gave birth to our first child, has been more self centered than before. He would go for massage at tcm claiming backaches when I was having pain and soreness and lack of sleep after childbirth. After I delivered, every week he would go tcm to treat his backache which was very mild prior to childbirth. When I hired someone to do the postnatal massage, he also felt he needed a 'postnatal' massage. Then he started telling my friends I have postnatal blues, but when I ran away from home one day cos I felt stressed and unloved by family members during confinement, he just went to take a nap. However, on the surface, he was telling everyone how concerned he was. Our relationship deteriorated but I tried my best to give it another chance. Now I'm having my #2 and it got worse... He's seeing the tcm even before I deliver, claiming he has severe backache. But on the other hand, he's doing pull ups with a new pull up bar he purchased and going to gym. I'm giving up. I am very sorry to say this aloud, but I cannot help feel my husband is very sissy and not dependable. I need a strong person to take care of me and I am already struggling. But now I hv to deal with a self centered person all over again and I'm really very exhausted. I'm prepped for divorce.... we've been through counseling but the sessions are expensive. Every cent counts as we are financially strapped too. Anyway to cut it short, I think the counseling didn't help much cept to identify that his issue stems fr his childhood... I dunno what else to do. I don't want to have 3 kids (him being my 'eldest child')!

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Hey, I really wonder why your husband behaves the way he does! May be as you said that his problems root to his childhood. Anyway, When it reads your problem makes it feel so hard, I really feel for you as you are actually living it up. I suggest you go ahead with what you have thought because living in so much stress will take a toll on the kids as well. Living life on your own with two kids would not be easy but I do not think it is any better now. Atleast then you will not have to fret over your husband's issues. I suggest, enrol yourself in some women welfare programme or forums where you can meet women who have faced issues like yours in their lives. They can guide you and be friends and support in this hour of need. If you are financially able to look after the babies and yourself, with the support of your friends and family, you make a move out of this marriage which is only bringing unhappiness to you.

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