im a first time mum

I’m a first time mom too. After i gave birth, i had less sleep.. I cry everyday & ask myself what have i done to myself. this is not what i ‘sign up’ for. I don’t love my baby & love my husband more. yeah, it was so cruel. but i was having ‘baby blues’ or even pp depression. husband was helping out too but all i want is to sleep longer without any disturbance. my LO wakes up every 1.5hrs to 2hrs for milk. I started to hate everything because i didn’t know it could be this hard. I stop breastfeeding as i find it so troublesome because i want to sleep more than waking up pumping. Engorgement sucks, Episiotomy sucks too. My first month was bad. Back pain was worst. My life wasn’t great. BUT!!! Allah Maha Besar. I doa hari-hari. I talk to my baby, please be easy on me. Ibu penat, ibu nak sleep. please tdo okay. I selawat & baca doa for him hari-hari without fail. Alhamdulillah, now he’s 3 months. he slept longer. 4-6 hrs sometimes. When i see him grow, he smiles, he laughs.. I sayang him even more. I called it, love-hate relationship between me & my son. it was full of anger, hatred, many more.. but now.. i can’t even separate from him. All you need is patience. Catch your sleep whenever u can. Ask anyone who can take care of baby awhile so u can sleep. Avoid visitors for now.. they can always visit you when u feel ready. Thats what I do... I need rest. Alhamdulillah, now i feel so so much better after getting the hang of it. But yeah.. my back pain still hurts. You can do it Nur. Insyallah♥️