Any of your hubby asking alot from a stay at home wife?

First I must confessed my spouse is a traditional, super MCP man & loves face a lot, should have extinct in this era. He really expected me as a stay home as wife to cook regularly, iron all his working clothes, maintain house clean & clutter-free, must send & fetch child to & from school daily and still must treat him very nice at home. He doesn’t take care of our child since birth until now. And even when baby & I are out with a lot of heavy groceries & manoveuring a stroller, for several times he would also told me to go home by taking mrt ourselves instead of driving to pick us up. I told him clearly I am deadbeat & depleted all my energy after waking up many times in the night pacifying back to sleep now and then but he doesn’t bother to understand me. Everyday he worked until after 12am then come home. I don’t know what does he treat me as? In this era, he’s still lives in such times expecting a married woman to be like his late mum so capable & independent? For example: 1) Never even babywear like many other dads did since birth until toddler at all. 2) Almost rarely pat or coax our child before sleep. 3) Never once ever wake up in the night to coax child back to sleep. He slept like a dead pig until morning wake go work very late. 4) Never ever wash toilet bowls. 5) Often roar like crazy & throw bad tempers at me & child. 6) Hit me with his elbows very forcefully until my arms blue black when he was the one asking me to wake him up in the morning no matter what happens. 7) Slammed doors very hard when angry. Hit fist on the wall to vent his anger on us. Something is wrong with him but nobody knows as everyone outside thought he’s a super nice hubby and family man. I have no one to talk to as he stopped me from telling anyone, including his family members & relatives. What should I do?

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I think there might be some mental health issues with your husband. Is he bipolar? or having some anger management issues? If not, he is plain selfish. The way I see is that he doesn’t treat you like an equal or a spouse. May I ask how he is treating your child? Is it possible to engage a helper since he is not helping? I think it’s time you speak to someone you can trust like a family member. Seek some family support. Ask his family if he is like this before he got married. Please do not suffer in silence. it’s not good for you and your child in the longer run. Your child needs the best version of you!

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4y ago

Sorry to hear that. Is there anyone else you can speak to in his family or even your own family members? If not, maybe a close mutual friend whom you can trust? You need to talk to him and “confront” him with someone and not talk to him alone as I am worried he might turn violent. One way is to record those outbursts with your phone (can be audio only) and let his sister listen as proof of evidence). If his sister believes you, she can help talk to him too). I am worried for your child now. Your relationship with your husband is not a healthy one. Those fearful moments are also not healthy for your child. Please seek help early! Together with his sister, convince your husband to seek treatment if possible.