After 4 weeks of paternal leave, my husband he’s now back at work, and I’m left handling our newborn on my own. My mother-in-law only helps with bathing the baby after she comes home around 1 PM. Although I know how to bathe my baby, I let her do it because I think sometimes elderly people just want to feel needed.
However, my mother-in-law can be extremely toxic when she’s in a bad mood.
1. She often makes unnecessary comments, like when I turn on the bathroom light during the day to brush my teeth, saying things like, “Why do you need the light? It’s still bright outside!” (even though the bathroom is completely dark with the door closed).
2. One time, my newborn’s shirt had a stain, and she told me to clean it, saying, “Don’t let my son do it, he has to work. You’re just at home, and you can rest, but he can’t.”
3. During my first week of confinement, I was in pain and couldn’t walk much. When my husband brought my meals to the room, she criticized, saying, “Why can’t she eat in the living room?”
4. She insists that newborns don’t get hot, yet when my baby got a heat rash, it was clear that he was uncomfortable. Babies are human, why wouldn’t they feel hot?
5. She always wants my baby to wear the same few outfits she bought (she only bought three), insisting they be worn repeatedly, even though I have plenty of clothes for him.
6. When my baby is fussy and cries, she’ll say things like, “Give him a pacifier,” or “Pat him,” (which I’m already doing). I have my own ways of calming him, but she constantly interferes.
7. She has a granddaughter who comes over, screaming loudly, and it disrupts my baby’s sleep. She prioritizes her granddaughter, but when my husband is home, she acts as though she’s deeply concerned about my son, wanting to hold him even when he’s peacefully sleeping.
8. I’m feeding my baby formula, and she made a comment about his tongue being white, saying it’ll stay white in the future. When my husband’s friends visited, she casually mentioned to them that I don’t have breast milk, as if it’s something shameful.
I’m struggling to cope with her toxic remarks. Her words hurt me deeply, and it’s affecting me. I’m also someone’s daughter, and if my mom knew what was happening, she’d be heartbroken. I don’t even dare tell her about it.