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Stephanie, Singapore

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Mum of 1 energetic junior

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Teach my 4YO confidence

My daughter is 4 and attends pre-school half day. She is a happy, imaginative and active child at home, but not very open to people she doesn't know well (getting her to say Good Morning to strangers can be a struggle sometimes). Recently she came home from school telling me that the other kids from her 'girls group' don't want to play with her anymore. She repeats that for days now. She doesn't give a reason, just says they say 'no' when she asks to join a game or sit next to them etc. She then goes off and plays alone. I spoke to the teacher about it and she said that because my daughter is only half day and not full day, the other girls, who are mostly full day, bond deeper and I should consider sending her full day as well. I am trying to tell her that she should make new friends in class, that there are other kids she could play with but she doesn't want to. Either they are boys and play rough or they are too young, or they speak a different language or etc etc. When we are outside at a playground she rarely approaches any kids by herself and even is shy when we meet friends with kids she knows. I am wondering what I can do to make her stronger so she stands up for herself and makes new friends. Her personality is more shy and quiet - I am aware I cannot change that but what can I do to support her? (It might well be that this hurts me more than her)

First of all, it's great that you are seeking advice on how to support your daughter in building her confidence and making new friends. It's a common concern for parents, and it's wonderful to see that you are taking an active role in helping her navigate this situation. One thing you can do is to continue encouraging her to interact with other kids in her class. You can role-play scenarios with her at home where she practices initiating conversations or asking to join in games. This can help her feel more comfortable and confident in social situations. Additionally, try organizing playdates with other children outside of school. This can provide her with a more relaxed environment to connect with peers and build friendships. It's also important to validate her feelings and let her know that it's okay to feel shy or nervous in new situations. Encourage her to express herself and communicate her feelings to you. By creating a safe space for her to open up, you are helping her develop emotional intelligence and resilience. Lastly, celebrate her strengths and unique qualities. Remind her of all the things that make her special and encourage her to embrace who she is. When she feels confident in herself, she will be more likely to reach out and connect with others. Remember, building confidence takes time, so be patient and supportive throughout this process. Your love and encouragement will go a long way in helping your daughter navigate social interactions and make new friends. https://invl.io/cll6she

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