Postpartum Psychosis

Please don't judge. #dontjudge #mentalhealth I have been depressed even during pregnancy since I have been the one providing for the family so grabe ang dagan sa akin ng mga problema and my husband kept escaping our issues and problems. Now, after giving birth di ko na kinaya and I had a massive panic attack so my husband again ran away from me. He knew what I'm going through but he still left, I was watching him running away from me and then I received a message that he wants to end our marriage and I was 2weeks postpartum. Nagkalat pa siya ng kung ano-anong kuwento about sa akin and what I'm going through. I trusted this person but he betrayed me and even left me with a baby I didn't want at first because I'm already busy taking of my first child. Now, I'm experiencing postpartum depression turning into postpartum psychosis. He left me with nothing after kong halos mamatay maghanap ng pera for us to survive, and his family won't give us anything. I didn't force myself to them, he forced me into this marriage despite all my traumas. Ngayon, I have been trying to kill my newborn. Ayaw ko nang pagdaanan yung pinagdaanan ko sa una kong partner. I suffered a lot and now my current is putting me in the same situation. He was there dati during my worst pero ibabalik lang din pala niya sa akin. I don't want the baby, I want it dead since he doesn't deserve us as his parents. 😔😭😭