How i gain my angel in Heaven..

Hi Mommies. Share ko lang story ko. Medyo mahaba po. This is my short adventure with my baby (now an Angel) June 6: my first PT showed 2 lines. Hindi pa ko naconvinced nun kase faint yung 2nd line. Nag 2nd PT ako nung hapon when I woke up (night shift ako) and 2 lines ulit. June 10 (morning): nag PT ulit ako, third time, and 2 lines ulit. June 10 (afternoon): nagpa transV ako and lumabas na I was positive pregnant and gestational sac palang ang nakita saken, GA was 7 weeks based on my last day of mens. Meron din nakitang subchorionic bleeding kaya niresetahan ako ng progesterone and folic acid. June 11-22: I was taking my meds religously and made sure that I eat healthy enough. Naka experience din ako ng madalas mag CR and soreness ng breast and other symptoms of early pregnancy. June 22: Nagpa transV ulit ako kase I wanted to know if may heartbeat na si Baby. And yes!! 120 bpm ni Baby, 5weeks and 5days na sya based sa measurement nya. Super happy ko nung nakita ko ung heart nya na pumipintig sa monitor habang inu-ultrasound ako. Sobrang cute nya. However, nalaman din na nasa case na Oligohydramnios sya, meaning maliit ang sac for the baby and kulang sa amniotic fluid. I was asked to drink a lot of water (which I surely did). And dahil sa ibang clinic ako nagpa ultrasound, hindi ako narisetahan ng pampakapit. I had to wait for monday dahil un ang sched ng OB ko. Throughout this day, I was feeling fine and okay kami ni Baby. Sobrang saya namin parehas ni hubby kse nga nakita namin na buhay na si baby and anjan na sya. June 23 (morning): i felt a small pain sa puson which dinedma ko lang kse medyo nakakaramdam din ako ng ganun nung mga nakaraang araw. Also, biggest milestone namin today kase nasabi ko na sa parents ko and they were so happy and excited for baby!! Super saya ulit namin ? June 23 (rest of the day): hindi nawala ung sakit ng puson ko then I was also spotting. Medyo nag worry na ko pero bawal mastress so pinahinga ko nalang. June 24 (morning): I was awaken by the pain in my belly. As in super sakit ng puson ko, parang dysmenorrhea na ung pain. Also may spotting padin and mas dumami. Despite of this pain, I still managed to went to my OB for my follow up check up. Nag-ie din ako since ininform ko sya about my bleeding then she confirmed na I was bleeding nga. She also read the findings of my ultrasound and nag reseta ng pampakapit and vitamins. By this time, sobrang sakit na ng puson ko. Feeling may mens na talaga. June 24 (afternoon): pagkauwi galing hospital, nag lunch ako and uminom agad ng gamot. I was so thankful to my mom kse sya ang sumama saken and bumili ng meds ko. Super alaga din sya saken. I was feeling worse as well kase lalong sumasakit yung puson ko and lalo ako nag bbleed. I just kept praying and drinking water. Umasa ako na makakatulog ung pampakapit. June 24 (6pm-8pm): i tried to sleep early pero nagigising ako in the middle of my sleep dahil sa sobrang sakit ng puson ko. I also took my med for the night after my early dinner. June 24 (10pm): Sobrang sakit na ng contractions ko, bleeding was worst and kahit sa ihi ko may blood na. I was so nervous by that time pero I have to avoid stress kase baka lalo lumala condition namin ni baby. I couldn't sleep na rin due to the pain. My mom told me na mukha daw akong nag-lalabor kse yung sakit is mawawala for a while then babalik nanaman. As in parang nag lalabor talaga. We we're also discussing if dadalhin na ko sa hospital or if kaya ko ba til the next day pra mapa ultrasound ako to check if my baby is okay or not. June 25 (1am): I went to pee and that's when the time I felt na may nalaglag na buong dugo from my vagina, I was crying already kahit d ko pa nakikita then I looked, yes it's my baby :( all those pain pala was really contractions because he/she is going out. I cried so hard I cant even remember the details of how things went. Nagkaulirat nalang ulit ako nung nasa hospital na ko to have my ultrasound. June 25 (2am): ultrasound result shows no sign of baby :( kahit alam ko na beforehand, mas masakit parin marinig. Iyak lang ako ng iyak sa buong madaling araw. Sobrang lungkot dahil somehow kumapit na ko sa idea na buhay si baby dahil may heartbeat pero natalo kami sa complications nya :( June 25 (8am): I had D&C... It was a very short adventure. When I woke up after my operation, namiss ko bigla si baby. I lost him/her @ 1.5months. Yes it was too early but he/she was my first baby, my first miracle, my truest love. When I recall all that had happened, I would still cry hanggang sa parang naubusan na ko ng luha. It was all painful, so painful. Prayer, acceptance and time will heal us ?