Selfish & Self Centered MIL

Im 38w 1d preg with my 1st child now. Staying with my husb & MIL at her house located in Yishun. MILis now processing her divorce w my FIL.. est to get everything settled by eoy.. MIL now is taking care of my SIL's 2 kids age 9 & 11 yrs old.. They are staying at Sembawang & is now WFH.. but my MIL still insist on taking care of them.. but problem is, she never asked her daughter (my SIL) for money to pay her kids' expenses.. all of it is being paid by my husband. My FIL is basically a free loader and good for nothing.. so i am not happy about it because 1stly, my MIL and her grandkids are very wasteful kind of people. They alw leave th electricity/current on even after not using them. 2ndly, my MIL will buy snacks or foods and drinks for them, and we're not allowed to eat it (even my husb). My husb have to ask for permission before eating it, eventho technically he paid for it.. 3rdly, my MIL will cook dishes for her grandkids to bring home leaving me & husb with little food left to eat.. And whats worst, my MIL will always complain to her siblings and mother and relatives and to me sometimes, saying that my husband is very selfish when it comes to money! Excuse me?! My husband practically takes care of all the bills & expenses in this house.. it's her daughter that is selfish but she didnt see that.. she said she sympathize with her daughter because she is a single mom.. but then what about me & husband? She doesnt sympathize with us at all.. me with being a SAHM, having a baby otw, getting our place soon (after her divorce is settled), renovations & furnitures all.. she doesnt seem to think about that all.. B4 i gotten pregnant, she already warned me earlier on saying that when i got pregnant & give birth alrdy, she will not take care of me during my confinement period as she is alrdy old & not strong anymore.. she said to stay with my mom and let my mom handle me.. and once i start work already, my baby to be sent to my parents place also. She dont want to take care of babies anymore. When she was telling me all this, i was like shock.. because, i didnt even have the thought of her taking care of me and my baby at all.. i have already discuss with my mom about all this before i even got married that she will take care of me & baby.. idk but the way my MIL spoke to me about this is as though i am a burden & wanna draw the line.. lol.. And like i said, im staying with her now in Yishun.. my parents place is in tampines.. my husband is working at tampines.. my work industry is located in changi. So we're definitely going to buy a house at tampines because it is very convenient for us, obviously.. BUT, now my MIL disagree with our plan. She wants us to buy house at Sembawang or Yishun so she can continue taking care of her 2 grandkids.. when i tell her no and asked her to move in with her daughter then if that is the case, she gave her stupid excuses which is, my SIL place is 3room BTO flat, very small so not comfy enough for her. So she wants me and husband to get a resale at Sembawang or Yishun so she can be at her comfort zone. Big spacious house & get to be with her grandkids.. so her grandkids can come over to my place and she can continue taking care of them whilst my SIL is working from home at her house in Sembawang.. I truly dont understand her logic in this matter.. When i give her my reason saying that i will be working at changi, how can she expect me to take bus to and fro with baby everyday from north to east; and i will have to wake up super early; the journey; baby is not going to be comfortable in the bus for long period of time twice daily & all these would be way even more troublesome if it rains.. She just look at me and repeat her dumbass excuses, "But i pity my 2 grandkids.. nobody take care of them when their mom is WFH." She clearly only thinks of herself, her daughter and her 2 grandkids. She not making it subtle at all. As though the baby in my stomach is not her grandchild also. I keep asking her to move in with her daughter, she will keep saying that the house so small not comfy and shes not used to it.. And now i just found out not only that, she plans to bring all her old antique furnitures to move into my house because she feel "sayang" to throw or sell her furnitures away.. i have repeatedly tell her no no no no no.. she will keep quiet and try to guilt trip me saying that she wants to stay in old folks home since nobody cares for her anymore. Manipulative! But i still stand firm and my ans is no. And she disregard my decision and say to me, "Later after confinement period, u come back here and we discuss again." I still said no. She replied, "Nvm, we'll talk about it later." I tried telling my husband about this. He doesnt seem to agree with his mom also and he seem quite angry about it.. but he also seemed like he was angry at me because i was complaining about his mother.. i really dont know what else to do.. my MIL is very control queen and selfish and thinks of her own convenience and biased.. i am feeling quite resentful towards her now.. and ive been crying at night thinking about this.. esp in my final weeks, i know its not good for baby.. but i cant help it.. ive always wanted a house on my own with my husband and baby.. where i can have privacy and decorate my house following my style, cook my dishes (she doesnt eat or let her grandkids eat my cooking.. she will cook different dish for herself and her grandkids) but now i feel like my MIL is trying to snatch all that way from me.. sometimes i just feel like separating with my husband.. since he doesnt like me complaining about his mom to him.. then to who can i complain? So i am just swallowing all this by myself..

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💔 :( my situation is different but i feel your pain because my mil is quite overbearing too. It’s always not easy dealing with someone else’s mother who has some influence over how you live. Ranting wise i find theres a limit to sharing with husbands because they are sandwiched in between. I rant to other mummies and my parents instead for better mental health! If you want i’m here to listen to your rant :) (im staying in tamp) I hope your husband will see that while he has to respect his parents, he now has to protect you and his new family unit (you + bb). Keep your stance and don’t buckle because you have your own life to live. It’s a good sign your hubby don’t quite agree with his mum, so both of you should have the final say and decision on where you live, your house, your furniture and kids! She had her chance to own her house, raise her kids, now is your turn to live yours! I hope as a couple you both will learn to manage her.. Better faster move to tampines so it’ll be more mafan for her to travel and maybe you will see her less.

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7mo ago

we can chat on telegram if u want! mummies need to support each other