This is never an easy option. I was worried about all the things you’ve mentioned here. In the end, my husband and I decided that one of us would stay home to look after the kids. I was also privileged for both of us to stay home for a while when the 2nd one was born so that we could cope without external help. If I had no choice but to go with one of the above options, personally I would choose infant care.. because the staff are specifically trained to look after babies (helpers... it’s the luck of the draw, whether they’re good at it or not). Also, there’s the added consideration with helpers pertaining to the job scope. Some employers also want the maid to cook and clean, and that compromises baby care (my personal opinion) because she cannot have full attention on my baby. Hence, my preference would be infant care. With all the measures in place (mask, hand washing), the school infection rates have dropped quite a fair bit, so I am less worried about that now.
At the end of the day, I think rather than arguing about whose idea is better, listen to what the other person is thinking, not just the concerns raised, but also back up plans if the chosen one doesn’t work out well, etc.
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