I feel like I’m a single parent

Question

My husband choose to take part time tuition for students until 10pm over accompanying me during my pregnancy and now the baby is still young and he wants to take one more year because the student is taking national level exam. Do I call him irresponsible? My in-laws also never take care of the baby for one day, and insisted that they are old already and have no time (they work barely half of the week). My own mother cared for me and the baby for 6 months singlehanded with no resting day and my husband still got much to complain about her so he even stayed back to parents place for the time being. Now my husband just hired a maid and do the bare minimum himself. Weekend he would choose to watch videos over playing with the baby too. Is it common for husband to do this? Is children really the tomb of marriage? (By the way I’m too working full time, just work from home thank God) #advicepls

itsallabout_mytwokids · Accepted Answer

You will need to have a proper heart to heart talk, communication with husband telling him how you feel during pregnancy and after giving birth. And now that you have maid, perhaps you can set her schedule to enlighten your burden a little while you care for baby. Parents are just supporting roles to be your extra pillar of help when needed. Otherwise it is our responsibility though sometimes they lend a helping hand out of sincerity. Should your PIL and spouse acted to you unfairly then speak with them. The minimal they could do atleast play, hold, touch, etc. Except spouse of course have to 100% help you to care for your baby. I mean if his working and you are working it is fair that the load of responsibility to be shared equally. Priority will be family then outsiders, to which while I understand he is giving assistance to his tuition student but he need to set limit. This is, in order to help you. I mean, we don't just f*** our spouse, carry the baby for 9 months, give birth then the responsibility alone will be us. We, mummy need alone time, me time, rest day too. If guys need it, so do we. And never ever thoughts our children is really the tomb of marriage. They are the beautiful gem on earth given by god/allah and created by you. They are the ones that spark your life. Hope the best for you, both & find the best solution to settle this. Hugs ❤