Pil gender bias
Feeling so frustrated with my inlaws … when my husband and I broke the news that we were pregnant with #1, the first thing out my mil mouth is “hope that its a boy”. Omg!!! I felt so irritated then as I felt that no matter if its a girl or boy I will love them equally the same. Fast forward 20 weeks later, we confirmed that we were having a baby boy. And of course, pil were so happy they started clapping in a restaurant. Is it weird that I feel annoyed by their actions? In my mind, its if u want a boy then why not have another one yourself….
I feel this irritation too. My husband and I initially guessed personally that we were having a boy because of ‘feeling’ but when we found out our baby is a girl, we became more excited. Prior to the gender reveal, people kept coming to me and touching my bump saying “Must be boy lah.” It made me so annoyed because all I wanted was a healthy baby and I know I would love my child the same regardless of the gender. Following the gender reveal, MIL started saying “next one must be a boy!” and FIL dishearteningly said “okay lah girl also okay” Random in-laws saying “I wish I get a boy for the first one because girls will be closer to their father’s side.” Husband and I are really ecstatic about our incoming daughter and these comments just make me annoyed at how shallow people can be to place so much importance on gender still in this day and age. Thank god my parents are there to keep me grounded because they heard the comments and told me “pray for a healthy child, that’s the most important thing, girl or boy we’ll love our grandchild the same.” Read more
Woah i feel you! Before i even got pregnant, my FIL was already showing all sort of "patterns" to indirectly/directly pressure us for a grandson! We wasn't planning for a kid then and every single meetup we will be questioned if there's any good news for him 😒 When i am finally pregnant, my PIL kept asking for the gender. Both of us just replied them "doesn't matter as we have ni preference". And guess their reaction! They start to assume it's not a boy so we didn't dare to tell them the answer. Started saying things like "oh girl also not bad la.." then "nvm try again". IT'S SO ANNOYING! When we answered, it's not a girl...they were super happy. At that moment, i secretly hope that i am carrying girl. Then i will tell them "we have no plan for a 2nd one".Read more
Same here.. >.< for me it's my FIL, even before we got pregnant, he was already assuming that our future kid will be a boy because supposedly the boy genes in his family very strong. When we announced our pregnancy, such comments became even more frequent and how he wld dream of a little boy etc. I just felt so worried constantly abt the gender cos it feels like if my kid was a girl he wont love her the same :(( but thankfully the other 3 grandparents really didn't have any preference abt the gender. tho eventually we found out our baby is a boy and of course right to his prediction and preference.. I just felt regretful and guilty that I am affected by him so much so that I did wish for a boy so at least he can stop shoving it in my face that he wants a boy. :(Read more
Gender disappointment is real! I’m also expecting #1 and my hubby is only son left in lineage so super stressful for me. Honestly it is our first one so we really have no preference but can tell the elders are all secretly hoping it’s a boy. And we have really hard for baby for a few years. Luckily my pil never outwardly show us their gender preference. In the end do gender reveal when it was confirmed we got a boy we could see it from their reactions which gender they preferred all along. But ya, our parents’ attitudes really can make a difference. Don’t know why some ppl are so insensitive.Read more
it’s not weird. their dream is probably to have a boy grandchild for lineage, not another son. very old traditional thinking and perspective. suggest you learn to one ear in and one ear out because there’s more of these nonsense comments to come. you can’t stop them from saying but learn to manage yourself. of course if it gets too much, your husband needs to help intervene.Read more
SIS I FEEL YOU!!!!! IM GG THRU SAME THING LIKE WTF IM THE ONE GOING THRU SO MANY DIFFICULTIES. Wah talk like baby can buy from shopee can choose gender. My gender reveal was the worst with my in law as they alr have a grandson, they expect me to have a girl and say oh its a boy again wtf. I will remember this till the day i die.Read more
When I did my NIPT test and blood test showed that It’s 99% a girl, I did gender reveal with my parents and my father was like, ‘it’s not accurate, might be a boy’ I was so annoyed. It’s blood test, not ultrasound 🙄 boy or girl doesn’t matter as long as healthy.
I am super annoyed too! After my mil knows I’m carrying a boy. She say aiya girl better, next time son will follow gf…try again for second one… till I have to say back does it matter? Because so long most important my bb is healthy!
I would be annoyed too… I’m pregnant with my first one (girl) and then my mum alr saying next one will be a boy? Like how to choose -.- and will have v obvious preference next lol
so old fashioned. boy or girl is good