Birthclub: November 2022

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Are these boundaries overbearing?

I have never imagined myself setting rules, and I never did, until I saw them so such things. So these are basically boundaries I set after I seen my in laws do these things to my son. Because I’m a ftm, I also don’t know what to expect, and I had expected my in laws’ behaviour towards my son to be safe since they are all parents themselves, but to my horror, they did many things, and these are the few measures I put in place after what they did. My husband, however, feels that I’m overbearing towards his family members for setting boundaries on how our 3 month old should be treated such as: 1) No alcohol-sniffing or feeding of alcohol to our son (my FIL has been doing this with my SIL’s kids & feeds these toddlers with wine. He has made our boy sniffed alcohol twice right infront of us - we warned him the first time when he tried making our boy sniff alcohol. He still did it the second time with beer anyways) 2) no shaking of our son because my in laws likes to shake him for fun - husband thinks they survived all these shaking and rocking as babies, so LO should do just fine with this treatment. 3) increase the aircon temperature and don’t stand directly under the aircon that’s blowing at top fan speed in the living room while carrying my son who is feeling sick (my FIL claims this action will build his immunity). 4) no waking up of the infant when he’s sleeping ( my MIL used to visit when he was just born and wanted to interact with him. But newborns can only sleep, so she would softly poke him or gently shake him and make noise to wake him up) 5) no putting him on the swing as I feel it’s dangerous, even if my FIL is seated with him (even in normal chair, my FIL almost dropped my baby. Plus, he swings fairly high and I can see the horror in my son’s face. But my FIL scolded my husband for telling him to stop) 6) no shouting at my baby if he cries (my FIL has a habit of shouting at anything and anyone that doesn’t please him) 7) to keep hands and clothes clean before holding my baby (my son has recently developed a habit of licking anything that he sees, so when we carry him front-facing, he would lick the carrier’s hand; when he is carried on our shoulder, he would lick the shirt and neck of the carrier. my MIL is always sweaty after cooking, touches and handles raw meat and food, and she digs her teeth with her fingers after meals, and still requests to carry my boy after these activities) 8) to wear mask around my son if they are unwell but still want to see my son (my SIL and her kids were down with a ‘mild cold but recovering’ but still insisted we bring our baby to the family gathering, which takes place weekly) - I didn’t even want to bring my little one there as he himself had recovered from a cold recently, but she say until so pitiful, like only get to see him once a week, so I compromised. My husband said this was inconveniencing the family. 9) I wanted to use our new baby cot & mattress instead of theirs, that has been stored (non sealed) in their utilities room for at least 4 years, and also crawling with roaches and rodents) - I have seen rats and cockroach in that utilities room before. Even though they said they would air and sun the mattress, and use 2 layers of cloth to wrap it, I still don’t feel comfortable using such old mattress that hasn’t been sealed properly. Many other hazardous actions which is too long of a list to write here. Again, I fully trusted them to be able to handle an infant with care, but they have proven otherwise, so I had to come up with such rules on the spot when I see them doing smth wrong. How do I explain to my husband that I’m not instructing in a rude way, but I’m setting safety boundaries which they never had before?

After all these, I would sternly INFORM my husband that I want things my way. Because if your husband really bothered about your child’s well-being, he would have told your PILs off at point 1 and not letting point 2, 3/9 appear. This has nothing to do with FTM or STM. Do this to my daughter and you can get out of my life. Set boundaries, stand up for your LO, voice out and be stern. Don’t let people step over your head. If you want, tell your husband sternly that you would like him to let his parents know that he would like them to stop all these actions. If your husband don’t support you, then DIY. Your child > PIL. Just because your sil is ok doesn’t mean you have to be ok. I used to just keep quiet when i don’t like what my mil is doing until I gave birth to my LO. If i see her doing nonsense like trying to feed my then 4mo weird foods or something unsafe, I would tell her nicely once. If she don’t listen, I will just tell her off. She can be unhappy, that’s not within my concern and control, I already have 18737473 things to worry and do. Now my lo is above 1yo, somethings we just close one eye. (My MIL is VERY petty btw)

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Milk bottles label

Hello mummies! Can anyone advice how to label milk bottle for childcare? They will help to wash and sterilize the bottle. Do sticker labels or zebra marker resist uv sterilizer?

no they dont. there are many shops online that prints and sells washable stickers

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Drinking very little milk

Hi all mummies, my 3mths old baby been drinking only 600ml milk in a day. Can anyone help or advise please?

VIP Member

My baby 3 months and drink ard 450 to 500 ml per day only, but she’s peeing and pooping fine and growing well

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Boy Circumcision at Dr Hamid Clinic

Hi. Have anyone done any circumcision for their 3 months old and above baby at Dr Hamid Clinic at Pasir Ris? I called to enquire for my 3 months old baby and the receptionist said the doctor only do circumcision for 2 months and below. I was baffled by the receptionist reply.

You can try Sidek clinic, my baby got circumcised at 3 months :)

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Wearable breast pump, pls advice

Hi, I am confused between buying Baby express be nude and Imani breast pump. Will greatly appreciate your experience and recommendation. I am currently exclusively pumping atleast 7-8 times a day with medal so need a durable pump that I can use on the go when I start working in a month. #advicepls #firstmom #breastpump

what are you confused about exacrly?

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Hi mummies, any reviews on loveamme, spectra S1 and baby express breast pumps? FTM here. Thank you!

I actually really liked LoveAmme. I tried both the travel size and the custom pro. I LOVED the custom pro. The travel one is perfect for pumping at work. I found the phalanges super comfy. Medela is my preferred one overall though.

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Similac total comfort infant milk powder doesn’t mix well

Changed to Similac total comfort infant milk powder recently but realised it doesn’t mix well, even with lukewarm water. There seems to be a lot of clumps in the milk even after shaking for an extended period. Any advice from fellow mummies? Thank you! #firsttimemom #firstbaby #thankyou

try mixing with chopsticks

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White part on gum, what is it?

Hi I'm ftm and I've been noticing my LO gum has this white part on both sides of mouth. I've been wanting to ask PD but forgot and next appt is 2 mths away.. Does anyone know? Could it be teeth growing? But he is too young to start growing teeth? #pleasehelp

White part on gum, what is it?

it’s called epstein pearls. my LO had it and it went away.

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Switch BM to FM, LO constipated?

I hav been giving BM in the morning and FM at night for abt 2 mths. Now I'm going back to work I want to stop BM. So i tried to FM my LO whole day and he didn't poop! Usually he will poop at least once or twice a day. Any advice?

feed biogaia or other probiotics. helps with pooing

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When my baby keep burping out milk or spitting out milk after feeding ?

Baby burp and spit milk

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Facing same issue at every burp, if a lot is out means feeding is too fast or too much

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