My husband thinks I'm not helping out at home enough.

This is usually the kind of fights I have with the hubs once every couple of months when he's "freer". Long story short, I have an "autopilot" husband. That means on work days, and his days working from home are pretty hectic with meetings and stuff, so he doesn't do shit in terms of housework. But when he's on leave, and I decide to take a break from picking up after him - suddenly he's the only one doing all the work. This applies whether I'm 27 weeks preggers or not. It's like the last 6 months of you not on leave, the house auto cleans itself. And in the span of 2 weeks, you do everything, and I'm stressing you out because I'm not helping. Anyone's hubs is like this too? If yes, how do you deal with it? I came up with a solution and told him we should just keep score. Text when someone does a chore. But he thinks I'm throwing a tantrum. I just don't want to repeat this same bloody fight over and over again. #pleasehelp #advicepls #preggymom

6 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

My workaholic Husband also feel that he contributes more .. and think I overreacted during my pregnancy … he does do the domestic work and does complain and also feel he is always on the giving end despite I am pregnant with his child.. and he does whatever he wants and live like a single man.. very extremely fustrating lor but I just try to communicate .. always quarreling and my pregnancy hormones doesn’t help to make me feel better … it got so bad I wanted a divorce because he feel he is always right and never thought about my feelings.. Anyway, I realise my husband is also other people’s spoilt son thus his behaviour 😂 like do abit feel he has done the most..so I engaged helper to ease the domestic situation so he doesn’t feel like he is the only 1 contributing.. and also when I go out, I try to bring him with friends who have babies so he can also listen to them to hear stories and realise me as a pregnant mum isn’t going through a good life either with all the physical ache and emotional tolls… maybe also recently the baby kick is very intense and once the baby reacted to his voice, he suddenly felt he is a father .. at my 3rd trimester , he told me he would like to focus on my emotion health and the baby.. and keep repeating emotional health is very important.. Maybe took him longer to realise his responsibilities as a husband and father , but better late than nothing ! Hope your hubby will feel his husband and father instinct kicking in!

Read more

The house belongs to the both of you, whoever cannot stand the mess then do. Noted that you’re currently pregnant, maybe let him know you would like to take the easier chores like laundry and vacuuming while he do the mopping and thorough cleaning till you give birth? If he still want to be calculative, then tell him, since you carry the baby, give birth to the baby while he only donate his sperm, then he want to fully pay for baby’s expenses or let baby follow your surname instead? I wouldn’t recommend your solution, its no end and doesn’t work. Split the job, if cannot take it that one party do lesser than the other then hire a part time cleaner.

Read more

My hb hardly does housework. Up till 40 wks i was the one doing. Nowadays we fight alot after baby is born. I cannot stand it coz i slp little, wake up pump and still nd do everyting including laundry, dishes during my confinement!

Huh why so calculative. As a husband doesnt mean wife need to do all. My husband does all the housework be it im pregnant or not and he never say i never do work or anything. Maybe you guys should sit down and talk it through.

Maybe suggest to your husband that you do housework in the weekends and he do on weekdays instead if he says you never do? And during weekdays if he doesn't do, complain how he never does housework.

I didn't get a maid but I bought a dishwasher and dryer to lighten the load. We live with parents so my mum helps out too. We got a toddler and a baby coming soon.