just want to rant

im a first time mom with 18months baby. recently she recovered from hfmd, and now she got stomach flu. the diarrhea very bad and until the butt got bad burning rashes. i’ve very patient to sooth her comfort her help her put medicine wash butt with water and so on. i am wfh mom. ytrd at night she cried badly, but when i giv her screen time she is fine. she can calm down and watch for hour. it was 12.30am in the midnight and she doesnt want to sleep. i off tv bring to room she cry for another 30mins and want to come out to living room. i am mentally so stress with all these. idk how long i can hold on and be patient to every of this. i am so sad that i am lifeless now. every day routine the same. no doubt she is very cute and sweet. i know sick is not what she want but is also bcoz of i didnt look aftwr her properly. but i reli dont know how to be a mother now. now i doubt i can do a better job. during her tantrum i reli feel like end my life just like that so that i dont need to see all of this. but i just couldnt leave her alone behind like that. but still i am very sick of my current life.