i am having on and off depression, breakdowns and suicidal thoughts. the love i have for him and our children was the reason i could fight my depression and ignore the suicidal thoughts. also that i have thoughts that he might regretted marrying me because i been seeing his exgfs name in his browser/Facebook history search. weird thing is he knows that i have full access of all his accounts and our phones are linked, why didn't he bother to clear the search history?