Jealous of MIL

Taking care of a newborn is tiring, and husband is working, so MIL comes over every morning and afternoon to help. However, she takes all the baby bonding jobs only - such as feeding, playing and carrying baby, and everything else dirty or out of the scenes is done by me (she asks me to do) - such as making milk, bottle washing, laundry, housework, diaper changing, wrapping baby in swaddle, making the baby bed, cutting baby nails, settling all the poop leaks etc. During diaper change, she will sit beside and talk and entertain baby while i change. After changing diaper for baby, mil will carry baby away to bond, so I don't have time to bond with baby also... Feels like I am "returning" baby to mil... Now my baby is so close to her but not me, he allows my mil to carry him and cries when I do, doesn't smile much at me or talk to me but smiles at her. I feel like my mil is the mother and I am just a maid... By the end of the day I am also very tired and my husband also helps by taking all the baby bonding job and I do all the behind the scenes. I get very little time to bond with the baby. The only time when I bond with baby is when I breastfeed in the middle of the night. My baby wakes up once or twice in the motn and I breastfeed and put him back to bed that's all. But baby is drowsy and environment is dark, so he probably doesn't recognize me. And I want him to sleep so I ignore him when he tries to talk to me. I actually do want to talk to him so I feel sad when ignoring him. What should I do? I do need the help, but I am jealous that my mil is getting more affection and bond with my baby and i dont? #firsttimemom #firstmom #advicepls

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Think u need to stand firm on certain things. Like you will the only person feeding the baby. Maybe you can assign her tasks too, like getting something from the market while you play with baby. Rmb, thick skin makes you invincible 🤣

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2y ago

Ure obviously burnt out. Speak your husband regarding it. Ask him to manage his mom. Or consider getting a pt nanny instead of. It’s either you suck it up or voice out to your mil or find other substitute. Good luck!